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Emma's (ecm14's) Great-Quotes.com Profile

Emma Mahute

About Emma


Emma's (ecm14) Quotes
  • Live as if you'll die tomorrow, dream as if you'll live forever.
Emma's Favorites
  1. Joan Rivers Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is God's gift, that's why we ca...
    Joan Rivers
  2. . We were given: Two hands to hold. Two legs to walk. Two eyes to see. Two ears to l...
    Author Unknown
  3. . You might be a Redneck if you have a rag for a gas cap
  4. . You might be a Redneck if you take a fishing pole into Sea World.
  5. . You might be a Redneck if your screen door has no screen
  6. Jeff Foxworthy If your neighbors think you're a detective because a cop always brings you home, y...
    Jeff Foxworthy
  7. . You bring your shotgun to school so you can hunt at recess
  8. . You claim your dogs as dependents on your tax return.
  9. . You had to remove a toothpick for your wedding pictures.
  10. . You have been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
  11. . You think fast food is hitting a possum at 65 mph.
  12. . Your kids trip over the Christmas lights while hunting for Easter eggs.
  13. . When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
  14. . Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start ...
  15. . Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known ...
  16. . When Chuck Norris stares at the Sun, the Sun goes blind.
  17. . The reason Superman flies is because he knows Chuck Norris is on the ground.
  18. . A tour bus driver is driving with a bus load of seniors down a highway when he is ...
  19. . After having dug to a depth of 10 meters last year, Scottish scientists found trac...
  20. . A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six ...
  21. . An older woman gets pulled over for speeding... Older Woman: Is there a problem, ...
  22. . When Albert Einstein was making the rounds of the speaker's circuit, he usually fo...
  23. . On a recent weekend in Atlantic City, a woman won a bucketful of quarters at a slo...
  24. . Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet? She didn't want to wake up t...
  25. . Why do blondes always smile during lightning storms? They think their picture is b...
  26. . What did the blonde say when she opened the box of Cheerios? "Oh, look, Daddy ... ...
  27. . What happened to the blonde ice hockey team? They drowned at spring training.
  28. . Why can't blondes make ice cubes? They always forget the recipe.
  29. . Two blondes went to the pound where each adopted a puppy. The joy of their new bes...
  30. . A blonde kept having the same weird dream everyday, so she went to her doctor. Doc...
  31. . This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all these blonde jokes a...
  32. . A blonde went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain. "I would like to bu...
  33. . Two blondes are facing each other across a wide stream. One yells to the other, "H...
  34. . A blonde has sharp pains in her side. The doctor examines her and says, "You have ...
  35. . Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately,...
  36. . There was a blonde, brunette and a red-headed girl.They were stranded in a desert,...
  37. . There was a blonde, a brunette, and a red head. They just robbed a bank and were r...
  38. . A blonde walked into work crying her eyes out and her boss asked her what was wron...
  39. . We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.
  40. . The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
  41. . I wondered why the frisbee was getting bigger, and then it hit me.
  42. . One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
  43. . ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn...
  44. . ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual? WITNESS: He was about medium height and...
  45. . Lawyer: "What happened then?" Witness: "He told me, he says, 'I have to kill you b...


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