Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is God's gift, that's why we ca...
You might be a Redneck if you have a rag for a gas cap
You might be a Redneck if you take a fishing pole into Sea World.
You might be a Redneck if your screen door has no screen
If your neighbors think you're a detective because a cop always brings you home, y...
You bring your shotgun to school so you can hunt at recess
You claim your dogs as dependents on your tax return.
You had to remove a toothpick for your wedding pictures.
You have been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
You think fast food is hitting a possum at 65 mph.
Your kids trip over the Christmas lights while hunting for Easter eggs.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start ...
Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known ...
When Chuck Norris stares at the Sun, the Sun goes blind.
The reason Superman flies is because he knows Chuck Norris is on the ground.
A tour bus driver is driving with a bus load of seniors down a highway when he is ...
After having dug to a depth of 10 meters last year, Scottish scientists found trac...
A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six ...
An older woman gets pulled over for speeding...
Older Woman: Is there a problem, ...
When Albert Einstein was making the rounds of the speaker's circuit, he usually fo...
On a recent weekend in Atlantic City, a woman won a bucketful of quarters at a slo...
Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?
She didn't want to wake up t...
Why do blondes always smile during lightning storms?
They think their picture is b...
What did the blonde say when she opened the box of Cheerios?
"Oh, look, Daddy ... ...
What happened to the blonde ice hockey team?
They drowned at spring training.
Why can't blondes make ice cubes?
They always forget the recipe.
Two blondes went to the pound where each adopted a puppy. The joy of their new bes...
A blonde kept having the same weird dream everyday, so she went to her doctor.
Doc...
This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all these blonde jokes a...
A blonde went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain. "I would like to bu...
Two blondes are facing each other across a wide stream.
One yells to the other, "H...
A blonde has sharp pains in her side. The doctor examines her and says, "You have ...
Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch.
Unfortunately,...
There was a blonde, brunette and a red-headed girl.They were stranded in a desert,...
There was a blonde, a brunette, and a red head. They just robbed a bank and were r...
A blonde walked into work crying her eyes out and her boss asked her what was wron...
We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.
The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
I wondered why the frisbee was getting bigger, and then it hit me.
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn...
ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and...
Lawyer: "What happened then?"
Witness: "He told me, he says, 'I have to kill you b...
The Prime Minister of Great Britain during World War II, Sir Winston Churchill rose to power after serving in different posts in liberal and conservative governments for more than three decades. The son of Lord Randolph Churchill and an American mother, Churchill remained Prime Minister and Minister of Defence until 1945, then returned to the position in 1951 until his resignation in 1954. In addition to being a world leader, Churchill was an established author, winning the Nobel Prize in Literature in 1953. His memoirs of WWII ran six large volumes alone and his speeches continue to b…
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