Used Cars Quotes

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"[President Carter on TV]
President Carter: -high inflation. What is the solution?
[TV cuts to commercial for Luke's yard taking place in Roy's yard]
Jeff: You want the solution to inflation? Hi, friends. Marshall Lucky here for New Deal Used Cars, where we're lowering inflation not only by fighting high prices, not only by murdering high prices, but by blowing the living **** out of high prices. Yessir. Here's an example. It's a 1972 Cadillac Coupe DeVille, for sixty-two ninety-nine. That price is too high.
[shoots car]
Jeff: Yessir. Here's another one. It's a Lincoln Continental, Mark IV, 1973. It's loaded. It's got air conditioning. It's got a stereo. It's got white-wall radial tires. It's got power steering, power brakes, power seats, power windows. And a price that is just too high.
[shoots car]
Jeff: Yessir.
[Jim appears on car behind him in costume]
Jim: YAAAAAAHHHH.
Freddie: [on microphone] Look out, Marshall Lucky. It's High Prices.
Jeff: Take this, you dirty ol' High Prices.
[shoots Jim, who puts on a very convincing act]
Jim: AHHHH. Ya got me Marshall. Ahhhhh...
Jeff: [shocked] Jesus Christ.
[winks at screen]
Jeff: Yessir, that's New Deal Used Cars... Now wait just a Goddamn minute. What the hell is this? Is this a 1974 Mercedes 450SL for *twenty-four thousand dollars*? That's too ****ing high.
[blows up car with dynamite. Roy watches at home]
Roy: You sonova *****.
Jeff: [laughs] Yessir. We blew the **** out of that over-priced mother****er just the way we blow the **** out of *all* high prices, down here at New Deal Used Cars. So y'all come on down. Did you hear what I said? New Deal Used Cars. So y'all come on down. Did you hear what I said?
[TV cuts back to President]
President Carter: I have heard you, with unmistakable clarity...
Roy: You sonova *****.
[kicks TV and electrocutes himself]
"
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