Shades of Gray Quotes

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"Dave's roommate.: C'mon in, ****face is waiting for you.
[They walk inside]
Dave's roommate.: . Hey, asshole, your friend's here.
Dave: Where's my cable box?
Dave's roommate.: **** you. Pay me.
Dave: Drop dead you ****ing asshole! Sit the **** down, sit the **** down, I wanna tell you a story. You know the express lane?
Eric: What?
Dave: Don't be a dick! Then ten ****ing items or less express lane at supermarket. Well I am standing on line and I only got two items. And I am waiting behind this guy, this asshole,
Eric: Let me guess: He was over.
Dave: No. He had nine items. Y'know, but I am in a rush, so I ask him, very nicely,'Can I go ahead?'.
Eric: So what'd he say?
Dave: He said, Why don't you play in the produce.
Eric: I take it you didn't handle this very well.
Dave: No, no I didn't. You know what I told him?
Dave: Go **** yourself!
Dave: **** you!
Eric: No, you told him, 'Go **** yourself!'
Dave: No I told him 'drop ****ing dead!' So he starts counting, right, and he's counting, he realises he's got nine items, so you know what he does?
Eric: I am afraid to ask.
Dave: He grabs a pack of gum!
Eric: So?
Dave: That's ten ****ing items!
Eric: So, thats still under.
Dave: Yeah. But he's staring at me, and I am staring at him and he's getting ready to make his move.
Eric: Dave, what move?
Dave: For the eleventh item! He's going for the eleventh item. A pack of three ****ing car fresheners!
Eric: Dave, no offense, but don't you think this sounds a bit extreme?
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