Saturday Night Live Quotes

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"Joe Piscopo: Good evening. I'm Joe Piscopo. This year marks the 20th anniversary of the death of President John F. Kennedy. We've brought together these three people to share with us their members of the day they learned that President Kennedy had been shot. Jim, let's start with you. What were you doing when you heard President Kennedy had been shot?
James Belushi: Well, I was in college and I was walking across the quad to call and this guy runs up and says 'President Kennedy has been shot', so I...
Joe Piscopo: Wait; how old are you?
James Belushi: I'm 26. So anyway, I went looking for a TV and...
Joe Piscopo: Wait a minute. You're telling us you were in college at age 6?
James Belushi: No, I was 19. Anyway...
Joe Piscopo: WAit a minute! You didn't know President Kennedy had been shot until eight years ago?
James Belushi: Well, hey now; you know, I was busy with school and girls and playing sports and stuff and I really wasn't into current events.
Joe Piscopo: I can't believe this. Mary, when did you find out President Kennedy had been shot?
Mary Gross: Well, Joe; in light of what just happened, I'm ashamed to admit that Jim told me right before the show started.
James Belushi: [Chuckling] What a dork, eh Joe?
Joe Piscopo: I can't believe this! This was one of the most important events of the 20th century and you people are totally clueless!
Tim Kazurinsky: [shocked] Wait a minute! President Kennedy is dead? How? When?
Joe Piscopo: Yes! My God, He was shot in Dallas!
Tim Kazurinsky: Oh, no! No! Please, No!
[Begins crying uncontrollably and hanging onto the other guests]
Tim Kazurinsky: President Kennedy is dead!
Joe Piscopo: [shaking his head] This is Joe Piscopo; good night.
"
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"Joe Piscopo: Good evening. I'm Joe Piscopo. This year marks the 20th anniversary of the death of President John F. Kennedy. We've brought together these three people to share with us their members of the day they learned that President Kennedy had been shot. Jim, let's start with you. What were you doing when you heard President Kennedy had been shot?
James Belushi: Well, I was in college and I was walking across the quad to call and this guy runs up and says 'President Kennedy has been shot', so I...
Joe Piscopo: Wait; how old are you?
James Belushi: I'm 26. So anyway, I went looking for a TV and...
Joe Piscopo: Wait a minute. You're telling us you were in college at age 6?
James Belushi: No, I was 19. Anyway...
Joe Piscopo: WAit a minute! You didn't know President Kennedy had been shot until eight years ago?
James Belushi: Well, hey now; you know, I was busy with school and girls and playing sports and stuff and I really wasn't into current events.
Joe Piscopo: I can't believe this. Mary, when did you find out President Kennedy had been shot?
Mary Gross: Well, Joe; in light of what just happened, I'm ashamed to admit that Jim told me right before the show started.
James Belushi: [Chuckling] What a dork, eh Joe?
Joe Piscopo: I can't believe this! This was one of the most important events of the 20th century and you people are totally clueless!
Tim Kazurinsky: [shocked] Wait a minute! President Kennedy is dead? How? When?
Joe Piscopo: Yes! My God, He was shot in Dallas!
Tim Kazurinsky: Oh, no! No! Please, No!
[Begins crying uncontrollably and hanging onto the other guests]
Tim Kazurinsky: President Kennedy is dead!
Joe Piscopo: [shaking his head] This is Joe Piscopo; good night."
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