Joe Dirt Quotes

Found 94 quotes.
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"Joe Dirt: There are three rules when dealin' with a deadly alligator. And yes, they are deadly, don't kid yaself. Rule number one, I'm number one. Ya hear that, I like ta kid around. Rule two, the croc's number two. Now before I begin...
Kid at Gator Farm: Hey, what's rule three?
Joe Dirt: What's that? Kid, give me a break now.
Kid at Gator Farm: So you don't know rule three?
Joe Dirt: Yeah, you want a match? My face and your ass! How 'bout that friend? Huh? I mean, your ass and my face, what's up?
Joe Dirt: Here we go, I'm a bit of a crocophile, so don't try this at home. This here's Rocky, and he ain't no puppy. Now, let's see if Rocky's got some cavities.
[Joe opens Rocky's mouth]
Joe Dirt: This mofo knows not to mess with Sir Joseph Dirt.
[Joe puts his head inside Rocky's mouth, then screams as Rocky moves his head up and down thrashing Joe around]
Joe Dirt: [Rocky throws Joe out of his mouth as crowd laughs and cheers] Oh, when bad pets go bad, dang.
Joe Dirt: [Babbling nonsensically] It's like the cartoons, I'm seein' all "tweet tweet".
Charlene the Gator Farmer: Joe, what can I do fa you? Ya not makin' any sense.
Joe Dirt: Not makin'? Not makin'?
[Flashback to Joe's little sister in the car on their way to the Grand Canyon]
Joe's Little Sister: That's why Dad named you Joe Dirt instead of Nunamaker.
[echoes]
Joe Dirt: Nunamaker! Nunamaker! That's what my sister said on the way to the Grand Canyon! My last name's Dirt, her last name's Nunamaker! That's my parents' last name!"
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