Joe Dirt Quotes

Found 94 quotes.
[ Page 1 of 5 ]
.
  • Comment
  • Add Topic
  • Press CTRL + C to copy code to your clipboard.
    <EMBED>
.
  • Comment
  • Add Topic
  • <EMBED>
.
  • Comment
  • Add Topic
  • <EMBED>
.
  • Comment
  • Add Topic
  • <EMBED>
.
  • Comment
  • Add Topic
  • <EMBED>
.
  • Comment
  • Add Topic
  • <EMBED>
.
  • Comment
  • Add Topic
  • <EMBED>
.
"Joe Dirt: There are three rules when dealin' with a deadly alligator. And yes, they are deadly, don't kid yaself. Rule number one, I'm number one. Ya hear that, I like ta kid around. Rule two, the croc's number two. Now before I begin...
Kid at Gator Farm: Hey, what's rule three?
Joe Dirt: What's that? Kid, give me a break now.
Kid at Gator Farm: So you don't know rule three?
Joe Dirt: Yeah, you want a match? My face and your ass! How 'bout that friend? Huh? I mean, your ass and my face, what's up?
Joe Dirt: Here we go, I'm a bit of a crocophile, so don't try this at home. This here's Rocky, and he ain't no puppy. Now, let's see if Rocky's got some cavities.
[Joe opens Rocky's mouth]
Joe Dirt: This mofo knows not to mess with Sir Joseph Dirt.
[Joe puts his head inside Rocky's mouth, then screams as Rocky moves his head up and down thrashing Joe around]
Joe Dirt: [Rocky throws Joe out of his mouth as crowd laughs and cheers] Oh, when bad pets go bad, dang.
Joe Dirt: [Babbling nonsensically] It's like the cartoons, I'm seein' all "tweet tweet".
Charlene the Gator Farmer: Joe, what can I do fa you? Ya not makin' any sense.
Joe Dirt: Not makin'? Not makin'?
[Flashback to Joe's little sister in the car on their way to the Grand Canyon]
Joe's Little Sister: That's why Dad named you Joe Dirt instead of Nunamaker.
[echoes]
Joe Dirt: Nunamaker! Nunamaker! That's what my sister said on the way to the Grand Canyon! My last name's Dirt, her last name's Nunamaker! That's my parents' last name!"
  • Comment
  • Add Topic
  • <EMBED>
.
  • Comment
  • Add Topic
  • <EMBED>
.
  • Comment
  • Add Topic
  • <EMBED>
.
  • Comment
  • Add Topic
  • <EMBED>
.
  • Comment
  • Add Topic
  • <EMBED>
.
  • Comment
  • Add Topic
  • <EMBED>
.
  • Comment
  • Add Topic
  • <EMBED>
.
  • Comment
  • Add Topic
  • <EMBED>
.
  • Comment
  • Add Topic
  • <EMBED>
.
  • Comment
  • Add Topic
  • <EMBED>
.
  • Comment
  • Add Topic
  • <EMBED>


Add this widget to your website!


"Top" Lists


You Might Like This Author

George Carlin
Birth: 1937-05-12 Death: 2008-06-22

"What does it mean to pre-board? Do you get on before you get on?"

Releasing 23 comedy albums, hosting 14 HBO specials and authoring three best sellers during his lifetime, comedian George Carlin helped define modern stand-up routines with his rapid fire commentary on politics, race, hypocrisy and society. His command of the English language allowed him to dissect its nuances and oddities, questioning everything from the meaning of time to getting into an airplane instead of getting on a plane™. His Seven Dirty Words You Can Never Say on Television led to his arrest and his landmark case before the Supreme Court. Carlin always pushed the limits, from…



"The words you need by the people you admire."

Copyright © 2002-2013 Great Quotes.com


Contact