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"Bruce: [as Max is escaping] Turn around slowly.
Maxwell Smart: [turns around to find Bruce and Lloyd coming around the corner with forced angry facial expressions and Bruce holding a gun] Guys, you have to believe me I am not a double agent.
Lloyd: We never thought you were.
Bruce: Yeah, we love you, man.
Maxwell Smart: Then what's with the firearm and the freak-show expression?
Bruce: For the security camera. If it looks like we let you go, we'd totally get fired.
Maxwell Smart: [looks up at the camera then looks back] Got it.
[Burce and Lloyd shuffle forward stiffly and regain fighting stances and angry expressions]
Maxwell Smart: Where are the Chief and 99?
Bruce: They flew to L.A. to talk to the President.
Maxwell Smart: I need to get out of here before someone else comes to stop me.
Bruce: I suggest you overpower us.
Maxwell Smart: Good idea. Bruce I will smash you in the face.
Bruce: [rather pleasantly] Thank you.
Maxwell Smart: Lloyd, I will simulate your disembowelment.
Lloyd: [whimpers slightly]
Maxwell Smart: Ready? One...
[Bruce flinches]
Maxwell Smart: Not yet! I haven't punched you yet. React when I punch you.
Bruce: [regains firearm] Oh, yeah.
Maxwell Smart: One, two, three.
[punches to the left but Bruce falls to his left]
Maxwell Smart: Wrong way.
Lloyd: OK, wait. You should know sometimes I faint.
Maxwell Smart: I'm not actually going to hit you.
Lloyd: No, but when I see blood, or talk about blood, or think about blood...
Maxwell Smart: There will be no blood. Hang in there. Hang in, buddy.
Lloyd: [faints] "
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George Carlin
Birth: 1937-05-12 Death: 2008-06-22

"What does it mean to pre-board? Do you get on before you get on?"

Releasing 23 comedy albums, hosting 14 HBO specials and authoring three best sellers during his lifetime, comedian George Carlin helped define modern stand-up routines with his rapid fire commentary on politics, race, hypocrisy and society. His command of the English language allowed him to dissect its nuances and oddities, questioning everything from the meaning of time to getting into an airplane instead of getting on a plane™. His Seven Dirty Words You Can Never Say on Television led to his arrest and his landmark case before the Supreme Court. Carlin always pushed the limits, from…



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