Full House Quotes

Found 249 quotes.
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"D.J. Tanner: [to Danny] Dad, you don't understand. Kimmy and I have always been in the same class. Now I'm stuck in a room full of eggheads. They're worse than eggheads, they're omelette-heads."
Full House - 1987
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"Danny Tanner: [After reading Dr. Suess, Michelle is refusing to go to sleep] Don't shake your head. Your story is read. Now, you must go to bed. To bed, I said.
Jesse: Danny, you really gotta cut back on the Dr. Suess."
Full House - 1990
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"Pete Bianco: Goodbye, Filth Ball."
Full House - 1989
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"Donna Jo 'D.J.' Margaret Tanner: [a loud sound comes from outside] What was that?
Steven 'Steve' Hale: It was probably just the wind.
Stephanie 'Steph' Judith Tanner: Just the wind? Just the wind? It's NEVER just the wind!"
Full House - 1993
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Featured Book: The Most Brilliant Thoughts of All Time (In Two Lines or Less) by John M. Shanahan

You don't have to be a genius to sound like one. Here's a collection of the most profound and provocative wit and wisdom in the English language in two lines or less. Edited by entrepreneur John M. Shanahan, who created the wildly successful Hooked on Phonics program, this wonderful book presents the best that has been thought and said on every imaginable topic.
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"Danny Tanner: [knocks] D.J. are you in there?
D.J.: Yeah one sec Dad!
[clears off pillows off of her bed, and pushes Kimmy under the covers]
Kimmy Gibbler: Wahoo!
D.J.: Kimmy, we're going to play a little game okay? Whoever stays quietest the longest gets to lipwrestle with the captain of the football team!
Kimmy Gibbler: Play ball!
D.J.: [pulls blanket over Kimmy's head] Come in!
Danny Tanner: [opens door] You're home early, how was the party?
D.J.: Oh, it was great! It was really good! We just didn't want to burn out on all the fun!
Danny Tanner: I'm glad you had a good time.
[Kimmy starts rolling around under the blankets]
Danny Tanner: That isn't the guy who created The Love Boat under there is it?
D.J.: No!
[stands up]
D.J.: Umm... actually it's Kimmy. She had a really big fight so I just told her she could sleep at our house!
Danny Tanner: Why couldn't she just have a really big fight with us and sleep at her own house?
D.J.: That's something to think about
[laughs nervously]
D.J.: You know I'm really tired from all that frat fun, I'll just see you in the morning.
Danny Tanner: Good night hun.
[leaves and closes door]
Kimmy Gibbler: [Sits up in bed with the blanket still over her head] Hey! This party's too dark!
D.J.: [pulls the blanket off of Kimmy] Kimmy, the party's over, you got us kicked out. Just go to sleep okay?"
Full House - 1994
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"[D.J. has brought her horse inside the house]
Joey: This is great. Danny's going to walk in here, see this horse and blame me for the whole thing and do you know why?
[laughs]
Joey: Because this is *very* funny."
Full House - 1988
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"Daniel 'Danny' Tanner: [to Jesse] I guess I should be grateful the house is still standing. I must have been crazy to think that you could take care of my daughters. You really let me down."
Full House - 1987
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"Jesse Cochran: [when Jesse tries to get DJ to move back in the house] All right, I'll speak a language you understand. Five bucks if you move back in.
D.J. Tanner: Fifty.
Jesse Cochran: Ten
D.J. Tanner: Forty-nine.
Jesse Cochran: A buck? You went down a buck?
D.J. Tanner: Okay, it's back to fifty."
Full House - 1987
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"Steph: [after Danny, Jesse and Joey have cleaned the house] Grandma Irene, does this mean hell is freezing over?"
Full House - 1987
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"Eddie: We've got to start taking field trips to this house. In one afternoon, I saw a dog show, a man in a ranger uniform and a *pregnant* man!
Nurse: Eddie, you need a nap."
Full House - 1991
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"Stephanie Tanner: [diagnosing Kimmy's symptoms] Kimmy ate tainted pork.
D.J.: She didn't eat tainted pork, she's drunk.
Stephanie Tanner: We've gotta tell Dad.
D.J.: No, if he finds out he'll kick her out of the house and never let her back over.
Stephanie Tanner: Again I say, we've gotta tell dad."
Full House - 1994
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"Danny: Okay, I'll teach you to drive.
D.J.: Thanks, Dad, you're the greatest. Let's go.
Danny: First let me shower, shave, and, you know, paint the house."
Full House - 1992
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"Joey: Listen up human dictionary! Stephanie Tanner is going to tear you from vowel to vowel and eat your consonants for lunch! Grrr!"
Full House - 1992
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"Michelle Tanner: I hope Santa brings me that new Barbie doll.
Stephanie Tanner: Michelle, Michelle, Michelle, you don't ask Santa for *just* a Barbie.
Michelle Tanner: I know, that's why I also asked for a hula hoop and a doll house and another hula hoop incase the other one gets lost.
Stephanie Tanner: That's the spirit."
Full House - 1992
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"Kimmy Gibbler: We never clean at my house. We move in, trash the place for five years, then move out."
Full House - 1992
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"Jesse Katsopolis: Steve... Steve, Steve-o. I can't help but notice that you walk like you still have the hanger in your shirt.
Steve Urkel: Oh, well, thank you.
Jesse Katsopolis: You're welcome. Steve, I'd like to help you because, uh, quite frankly, you need help. See, when you're walking, you gotta kinda be loose, man, like let it be cool.
[starts to slowly bounce]
Jesse Katsopolis: [Steve starts to bounce slowly]
Jesse Katsopolis: That's it. Loosen up, be very fluid. Be very fluid-y. That's it! Now... once you get it going, you shift the weight and you go.
[starts walking]
Jesse Katsopolis: And it's a strut, and it's cool, and it's a strut, and it's cool. See? Like that?
Steve Urkel: Very inspiring.
[tries to walk, but instead of a strut, he walks sidways on his toes bouncing highly]
Jesse Katsopolis: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's, uh, that's close.
Steve Urkel: Really? Well, oh. Well, that was a walk on the wild side. But, you should ty it with your elbows out. It's much better for circulation.
Jesse Katsopolis: Oh, really? Like this?
[sticks elbows out]
Steve Urkel: Yeah.
[Jesse starts to walk]
Steve Urkel: You're doing fine.
Jesse Katsopolis: You, know? I do feel the blood flowing better.
Steve Urkel: Yeah.
Jesse Katsopolis: It's very - WHAT AM I DOING?
Steve Urkel: Well, here's another fun way to kill time. Let's share a life story. I'll go first. I was born on a cold night in Chicago, 1976, the year of America's bicenntinal. My mom was in a great deal of pain and I was charging through! And...
Jesse Katsopolis: Uh, I think I hear the girls in the kitchen. Why, don't you just go and... yeah. Right in the kitchen area."
Full House - 1991
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"Danny Tanner: Stephanie, what do you mean you're not going to school?
Stephanie Tanner: Eh, I don't feel good. Maybe I'll go next year.
Jesse Cochran: You don't look sick.
Stephanie Tanner: [makes a sick face] Is that better?"
Full House - 1987
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"Michelle Elizabeth Tanner: [to Uncle Jesse] If I feel sad, I might cry, and I can't be brave... for you."
Full House - 1994
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"Jesse Katsopolis: I've always wondered, do you get paid by the letter?
Vanna White: You when they buy a vowel? That money goes to me.
Jesse Katsopolis: Even Y?
Vanna White: Sometimes."
Full House - 1994
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