Ferris Buellers Day Off Quotes

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"Ed Rooney: Ed Rooney.
Cameron: [disguising voice as George Peterson] Ed. This is George Peterson.
Ed Rooney: How are you today, sir?
Cameron: [voice disguised] Well, we've had a bit of bad luck this morning as you may have heard.
Ed Rooney: Yeah I heard, and man, I'm all broken up, boy, what a blow.
Cameron: [disguised] Yeah. Yeah. Well, uh, it's been a tough morning and we got a lot of family business to take care of, so if you wouldn't mind excusing Sloane, I'd appreciate it.
Ed Rooney: Uh, yeah, sure, no I'd be happy to, yeah you, uh, you you just produce a corpse, and uh, I'll release Sloane. I wanna see this dead grandmother first hand.
Grace: Ed?
Ed Rooney: It's alright, Grace, it's Ferris Bueller the little twerp. I'm gonna set a trap and let him fall right in it.
Grace: Ooh!
Cameron: [disguised] I'm sorry, Ed, did you say you wanted to see a body?
Ed Rooney: Yeah, that's right, just, uh, roll her old bones on over here, and I'll dig up your daughter. You know that's school policy.
Cameron: [disguised] Oh.
Ed Rooney: Was this your mother?
Cameron: [disguised] Uh, no my wife's mother.
Grace: [picks up ringing phone] Ed Rooney's office.
Ferris: Hi this is Ferris Bueller, can I speak to Mr. Rooney please? Thank you.
Grace: [caught off-guard] Uh... hold.
Ed Rooney: Tell ya what, dipshit. If you don't like my policies you can come on down here and smooch my big ole' white butt.
Grace: ED!
Ed Rooney: Pucker up butter-cup.
[to Grace]
Ed Rooney: What?
Grace: Ferris Bueller's on line 2."
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Mark Twain
Birth: 1835-11-30 Death: 1910-04-21

"Rail-splitting produced an unparalleled president in Lincoln. But gold hasn't produced even a good A-1 congressman."

Known for his razor sharp wit and ever-present cigar, Mark Twain is one of America's most respected and appreciated humorists. In addition to his classic works, including, The Adventures of Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn, Twain's satires and folksy tales found their way into the heart's of the American public. For more than a century Twain has delighted young and old with his stories and insights. Often he used his humor to tackle some of society's most delicate matters, including the issue of slavery. Twain was also a noted lecturer and traveler, his book Following the Equator being …



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