Family Matters Quotes

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"[on the afternoon of the Prom]
Laura: Girl, have you ever seen the hair salon so crowded?
Maxine Johnson: It happens every year the day of the prom. Did you see them work on Dora Fenswick?
Laura: She didn't need a hairstylist, she needs a fairy godmother!
Laura: [Curtis is about to break bad news to Laura] Curtis!
Curtis: Hi Laura!
Laura: What's wrong?
Curtis: I don't know how to tell you this, but I have to tell you straight out. I won't be able to take you to the prom.
Laura: Curtis, I got my hair done, my nails. I bought a new dress and you say you can't take me?
Curtis: That's Right
Laura: Let me tell you something. It better be a dead relative in your excuse.
Curtis: My grandmother died!
Laura: [gasps] I'm sorry, I'm so sorry please forgive me.
Curtis: My whole family is flying out to Washington for the funeral
Laura: Can you wait a day, of course you can't
Curtis: I know you're disappointed. I'm sorry, call you next week?
Laura: Poor Curtis
Maxine Johnson: Yeah and poor you, you gonna miss your prom.
Laura: Maybe not, there has to be some guy who doesn't have a date.
Laura: [as Steve walks he sobs and cries on Laura's shoulder] What's the matter baby, did you eat some bad cheese again? Whoo!
Steve Urkel: [sobbing] No, it's Myra, her cold got worse. Her temperature shot up and she tossed more cookies than the Keebler elf. I rushed her to the emergency room and the doctor said she has walking pneumonia.
Maxine Johnson: Will she be okay?
Steve Urkel: [sobbing] In about a week or so, but she gonna have to miss the prom.
[crying]
Maxine Johnson: [Maxine starts to laugh while talking to Steve] Ooh, hoo hoo. This is amazing! You know uh, Laura doesn't have a date for the prom either. This means you guys have to go together.
[laughs]
Maxine Johnson: Bye!
[Maxine laughs hysterically after she leaves the house]
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"[on the afternoon of the Prom]
Laura: Girl, have you ever seen the hair salon so crowded?
Maxine Johnson: It happens every year the day of the prom. Did you see them work on Dora Fenswick?
Laura: She didn't need a hairstylist, she needs a fairy godmother!
Laura: [Curtis is about to break bad news to Laura] Curtis!
Curtis: Hi Laura!
Laura: What's wrong?
Curtis: I don't know how to tell you this, but I have to tell you straight out. I won't be able to take you to the prom.
Laura: Curtis, I got my hair done, my nails. I bought a new dress and you say you can't take me?
Curtis: That's Right
Laura: Let me tell you something. It better be a dead relative in your excuse.
Curtis: My grandmother died!
Laura: [gasps] I'm sorry, I'm so sorry please forgive me.
Curtis: My whole family is flying out to Washington for the funeral
Laura: Can you wait a day, of course you can't
Curtis: I know you're disappointed. I'm sorry, call you next week?
Laura: Poor Curtis
Maxine Johnson: Yeah and poor you, you gonna miss your prom.
Laura: Maybe not, there has to be some guy who doesn't have a date.
Laura: [as Steve walks he sobs and cries on Laura's shoulder] What's the matter baby, did you eat some bad cheese again? Whoo!
Steve Urkel: [sobbing] No, it's Myra, her cold got worse. Her temperature shot up and she tossed more cookies than the Keebler elf. I rushed her to the emergency room and the doctor said she has walking pneumonia.
Maxine Johnson: Will she be okay?
Steve Urkel: [sobbing] In about a week or so, but she gonna have to miss the prom.
[crying]
Maxine Johnson: [Maxine starts to laugh while talking to Steve] Ooh, hoo hoo. This is amazing! You know uh, Laura doesn't have a date for the prom either. This means you guys have to go together.
[laughs]
Maxine Johnson: Bye!
[Maxine laughs hysterically after she leaves the house] "
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George Carlin
Birth: 1937-05-12 Death: 2008-06-22

"What does it mean to pre-board? Do you get on before you get on?"

Releasing 23 comedy albums, hosting 14 HBO specials and authoring three best sellers during his lifetime, comedian George Carlin helped define modern stand-up routines with his rapid fire commentary on politics, race, hypocrisy and society. His command of the English language allowed him to dissect its nuances and oddities, questioning everything from the meaning of time to getting into an airplane instead of getting on a plane™. His Seven Dirty Words You Can Never Say on Television led to his arrest and his landmark case before the Supreme Court. Carlin always pushed the limits, from…



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