American Dad! Quotes

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"[Francine is preparing to kill George Clooney with an axe]
Stanley Smith: Wait! I've gone along with you on this whole thing no questions asked, but now I've gotta know. What the hell Francine? What is this really about? I mean I hate Susan Serandon but you don't see me cutting off my hand. I just... cut my hair different for a while.
Francine Smith: What is this about? Just look at that **** with cucumbers on his eyes. Not a care in the world. No making school lunches, no grocery shopping, no cleaning the house, no one depending on him all the time!
Stanley Smith: Oh God! This isn't about some unfulfilled dream. You're having a midlife crisis and you're taking it out on a future senator from California!
Francine Smith: [stunned] Midlife crisis... wait, future senator?
[irate]
Francine Smith: Oh I will ******* chop his head in two!
Stanley Smith: Francine, don't you see. Sure, Clooney has no cares, no-one that depends on him, but... he HAS no one that DEPENDS on him! But you; you have a family. A son, a daughter...
Francine Smith: ...and a husband, who took a sabbatical from work, moved to Prague, and hired mercenaries to help his wife seduce another man! You probably would have let me sleep with him.
Stanley Smith: Of course! I assumed you did!
[both laugh hysterically]
Francine Smith: I'm the luckiest girl in the world.
[both turn and stare at Clooney]
Francine Smith: You know, I actually feel sorry for him. He'll never know this kind of happiness. Let's go home."
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