Allo 'Allo! Quotes

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"Jennifer: My Grandma Rose used to tell us to pray about things like this.
Madea: Then that's what you ought to do, pray about it, talk to the Lord about it. He'll help you.
Jennifer: Yeah but she only told us to pray. She never told us how. Would you teach me?
Madea: Huh?
Jennifer: Please!
Madea: Show you how to pray?
Jennifer: Yeah.
Madea: Oh, Lord, child, I ain't talked to God since the last time I saw a cop in my rearview mirror. I guess I can try. You know the number?
Jennifer: The what?
Madea: The number. To call him. They say, "Jesus On the Mainline." I don't know the number. Okay, sit back. Bow your head. First, giving honor to God, to the head of my life.
[sings]
Madea: Father, I stretch my hand... to thee. Father God. God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. God of Shadrach, Meshach and the billy goat, who was in the fiery furnace that they barbecued on the day of Pentecost when the Jewish people returned from the Sabbath day up on the mountaintop in Ethiopia. God of Mary J. Blige...
Jennifer: Madea, that doesn't sound right. That's not how Mama Rose used to do it.
Madea: You ain't feel it? You ain't feel the anointing?
Jennifer: No.
Madea: Alright. Well, look, I don't know nothing about praying. But all praying is is talking to God and having a conversation with him. And at the end, you say the name of Jesus. That's your stamp that will get it up there to him. You hear?
Jennifer: Okay."
I Can Do Bad All by Myself
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"Abu Hassan: [toying around] Look, look, look, see!
Popeye: Huh?
[With a laugh, Abu Hassan steals Popeye's belt]
Popeye: Hey, give me back me belt, I paid a good price for that!... Okay, watch this one. Abba-dabba-dabba!
[Popeye pulls out Abu Hassan's underwear]
Popeye: Abu Hassan got them anymore!
Abu Hassan: You want to make fool from me, eh?
Popeye: Ah, nature beat me to it!"
Popeye the Sailor Meets Ali Baba's Forty Thieves
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"Ringo: Hey, would you believe me if I told you I was being followed by a yellow submarine?
Police Officer: No, no, I would not.
Ringo: Oh, yeah, didn't think you would. I could've sworn I saw a yellow submarine. But that's not logic now. Is it? It must've been one of them Unidentified Flying Cupcakes. Or a figment of me imagination. But I don't have an imagination.
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Yellow Submarine - 1968
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"Popeye: Bring me some desert without any sand.
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Popeye the Sailor Meets Ali Babas Forty Thieves - 1937
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"George: Ok, men all aboard. Lets go somewhere.
Ringo: [Indicating Jeremy] What about him?
John: He's happy enough going around in circles.
Ringo: Aw, poor fellow. Can't he come with us?
Paul: I don't know. Ringo's just a sentamentalist.
Ringo: Hey, Mr Boob! You can come with us if you like.
Jeremy: You... you mean you'd take a nowhere man?
Ringo: Yea, come on. We'll take you somewhere."
Yellow Submarine
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"Camille: Kirresha, hold my ****!
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Bring It On: All or Nothing (V) - 2006
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Featured Book: The Most Brilliant Thoughts of All Time (In Two Lines or Less) by John M. Shanahan

You don't have to be a genius to sound like one. Here's a collection of the most profound and provocative wit and wisdom in the English language in two lines or less. Edited by entrepreneur John M. Shanahan, who created the wildly successful Hooked on Phonics program, this wonderful book presents the best that has been thought and said on every imaginable topic.
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"[about her brother]
Paikea: They were waiting for their new leader... but he died.
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Whale Rider - 2002
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"Koro: Wise leader, forgive me. I am only a fledgling new to flight."
Whale Rider
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"[about her brother]
Paikea: They were waiting for their new leader... but he died."
Whale Rider
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"Paikea: Maori women have got to stop smoking. We've got to protect our childbearing properties.
Maka: You'd have to be smoking in a pretty funny place to wreck your childbearing properties."
Whale Rider
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"Mable "Madea" Simmons: Can't take my car, the helicopters got my license number, I gotta stay hid out."
I Can Do Bad All by Myself
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"[in order to save René from the duel with Monsieur Alphonse, the colonel intends to have a military practice at the site and kill him in the crossfire]
René: I don't know, is it possible to just wound him?
Capt. Hans Geering: With a 22mm shell, "just wounding" may be difficult."
'Allo 'Allo!
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"Cheyenne: What the hell is this?
Harmonica: [off screen] Can't you see?
[emerges from behind a pile of wood]
Harmonica: It's a station. And all around it a town. Brett McBain's town.
Cheyenne: [starts to laugh] Was he crazy, heh!
Harmonica: Yeah in a very special way. An Irishman.
[starts measuring out a square and hammers wood spikes into the ground]
Harmonica: He knew someday or another that railroad through Flagstone would continue on west. So he looked over all this county here. Until he found this hunk of desert. Nobody wanted it! But he bought it.
[continues with work]
Harmonica: Then he tightened his belt, and for years he waited.
Cheyenne: Waited for what?
Harmonica: For the railroad to reach this point.
Cheyenne: Ah, but how in the hell did he know the railroad would pass through his property?
Harmonica: Them steam engines can't roll without water. And the only water within fifty miles west of Flagstone is right here. Under this land!
Cheyenne: Ah ha, he was no fool, our dead friend, ah?
[chuckles]
Cheyenne: He was gonna sell this piece of desert for his weight in gold, wasn't he?
Harmonica: [looks at Cheyenne] You don't sell the dream of a lifetime! Brett McBain wanted his station: he got the rights to build it.
Cheyenne: How do you know all this?
Harmonica: I saw a document. It was all in order, seals, signatures, everything! One thing though, in very small print, there is a short clause. Which says that McBain or his heirs lose all rights, if by the time the railroad reaches this point...
[turns to Cheyenne again]
Harmonica: ...the station ain't built yet."
C'era una volta il West
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"Prince Don Fabrizio Salina: We were the leopards, the lions, those who take our place will be jackals and sheep, and the whole lot of us - leopards, lions, jackals and sheep - will continue to think ourselves the salt of the earth.
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Gattopardo, Il - 1963
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