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Our ambition should be to rule ourselves, the true kingdom for each one of us; and true progress is to know more, and be more, and to do more.
I've often thought that the process of aging could be slowed down if it had to go through Congress.
I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.
If we make our goal to live a life of compassion and unconditional love, then the world will indeed become a garden where all kinds of flowers can bloom and grow.
The purpose of human life is to serve and to show compassion and the will to help others.
Rule your mind or it will rule you
Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: What! You too? I thought I was the only one.
There are two things to aim at in life: first, to get what you want; and, after that, to enjoy it. Only the wisest of mankind achieve the second.
The first duty of love is to listen.
When you feel neglected, think of the female salmon, who lays 3,000,000 eggs but no one remembers her on Mother's Day
We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience.
You don't just luck into things as much as you would like to think you do. You build step by step, whether it is friendships or opportunities.
We are all faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as impossible situations.
Behind every successful man there's a lot of unsuccessful years.
The bravest thing that men do is love women
Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat.
The consequences of today are determined by the actions of the past. To change your future, alter your decisions today.
True friends are families which you can select.
To climb steep hills requires slow pace at first.
The best accessories a girl can have are her closest friends.
Snowflakes are one of nature's most fragile things, but just look what they can do when they stick together.


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Jack Handey
Birth: 1949-02-05

"Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes."

Jack Handey is best known for his extensive collection of surrealistic one liners known as "Deep Thoughts" and his "My Big Thick Novel" shorts. Born in Texas, Handey started his career as a reporter, but was fired for offending local car dealerships. He landed his first comedy gig as a writer for Saturday Night Live. He eventually became co-producer of the show. His "Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey" started in 1991 when he began to reading them on the air. It quickly gained an audience that liked its bizarre situations and unexpected twists, such as "If trees could scream, would we be so …



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