Humorous Quotes

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." — Winston Churchill
As quoted in Dictionary of British Politics (2004) pg. 324 Famously quipped by Churchill about Sir Stafford Cripps, who Churchill was forced to work closely with during his time as Prime Minister. Add Category or Author

"The more people I meet, the more I love my dog." — Mahatma Gandhi
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"Good humor is one of the best articles of dress one can wear in society." — William M. Thackeray
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"The hardest thing in the world to understand is income taxes." — Albert Einstein
Letter to Time Magazine (22 February 1963). Einstein's friend Leo Mattersdorf reported Einstein saying this, to which Mattersdorf replied, "There is one thing more difficult, and that is your theory of relativity." Einstein responded, "Oh no, that is easy." Add Category or Author

"I don't know what weapons will be used in world war three, but in world war four people will use sticks and stones." — Albert Einstein
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"In heaven all the interesting people are missing." — Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
As quoted in The Greatest Quotations of All-Time, (2010) pg. 297 Add Category or Author

"The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back in your pocket." — Will Rogers
As quoted in Building a knowledge-driven organization (2004) pg. 191 As a comedian who frequently spoke about politics, Rogers also frequently spoke about money and campaign finance. Add Category or Author

"Imagination is a quality given a man to compensate him for what he is not, and a sense of humor was provided to console him for what he is." — Oscar Wilde
No contextual information is available for this quote, beyond the fact that it is widely attributed to Wilde, who was a poet and dramatist. Add Category or Author

"If you're ridin' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there" — Will Rogers
As quoted in The Land Where My American Mother Died--Palermo, Sicily (2003) pg. 156 Add Category or Author

"The best way to lie is to tell the truth, carefully edited truth." — Author Unknown
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"Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritation and resentments slip away, and a sunny spirit takes their place." — Mark Twain
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"Seize the moment. Think of all those women on the 'Titanic' who waved off the dessert cart." — Erma Bombeck
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"An optimist stays up until midnight to see the new year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves." — Bill Vaughn
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"Why fit in when you were born to stand out?" — Dr. Seuss
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"All these people are so firm on their positions. That's where the humor in the movie comes from, ... It's like the debate team. Nothing is rooted, everything is malleable. As soon as you start to hate what Nick Naylor is saying, then you have a senator saying the same thing. Everybody is complicit; whatever their cause is, they all have unethical thoughts. It just shows that we're all just out there trying to ply our trade." — Aaron Eckhart
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"It's better to be unhappy alone than unhappy with someone." — Marilyn Monroe
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"Adults are just obsolete children and the hell with them." — Dr. Seuss
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"You can't make anything idiot proof because idiots are so ingenious." — Ron Burns
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"One never needs their humor as much a when they argue with a fool." — Chinese Proverbs
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"If I were invited to a dinner party with my characters, I wouldn't show up." — Dr. Seuss
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"The worst moment for the atheist is when he is really thankful and has nobody to thank" — Dante Rossetti
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