Whether you're in the depths of the doldrums or want to lift the spirits of a family member or friend, funny quotes can be the perfect antidote. Delivered by some of the worlds greatest comedians, from W.C. Fields and Grouch Marx to Chris Rock, humor is a universal power that will leave us laughing, guffawing, chortling and rolling in the aisles. Funny quotes arent just hilarious. Many of them can help us see the folly of ourselves and each other, as well as those little grains of truth that run through good comedy and humor. Life is not always a basket of roses; sometimes it seems to be beating you down, and it probably feels impossible to smile or laugh. Our collection of Funny Quotes will get you rolling on the floor in laughter, your sides splitting and tears running down your face (well maybe)! They are the perfect go-to whenever you need a chuckle to brighten your day. "If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?" Stephen Wright From smiles to giggles to all-out deep-throated guffaws that will have you gasping for air, these hilarious words from thousands of authors will give you the perfect witty thing to say; whether for graduation or a birthday, a project or personal pleasure, we have funny quotes galore! And after you browse our funny quotes, you might want to check out the motivational quotes on Great-Quotes to find the motivation you will need to get back to work!
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Life is not always a basket of roses; sometimes it seems to be beating you down, and it probably feels impossible to smile or laugh. Our collection of Funny Quotes will get you rolling on the floor in laughter, your sides splitting and tears running down your face (well maybe)! They are the perfect go-to whenever you need a chuckle to brighten your day.
"If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?" Stephen Wright
From smiles to giggles to all-out deep-throated guffaws that will have you gasping for air, these hilarious words from thousands of authors will give you the perfect witty thing to say; whether for graduation or a birthday, a project or personal pleasure, we have funny quotes galore!
And after you browse our funny quotes, you might want to check out the motivational quotes on Great-Quotes to find the motivation you will need to get back to work!
Funny on Wikipedia.org
"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."
As quoted in Dictionary of British Politics (2004) pg. 324
Famously quipped by Churchill about Sir Stafford Cripps, who Churchill was forced to work closely with during his time as Prime Minister.
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"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the the universe."
The authenticity of this quote is disputed and no source before 1969 can be found, though this sentiment was certainly not expressed first by Einstein even if it was really spoken by him. Earlier variants include, "He quotes the saying of Renan: it isn't the stars that give him an idea of infinity; it is man's stupidity" and "But who knows? The earth has its boundaries, but human stupidity is infinite!"
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"If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button."
As quoted in Hands Pointed Up (2004) pg. 145
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"The hardest thing in the world to understand is income taxes."
Letter to Time Magazine (22 February 1963).
Einstein's friend Leo Mattersdorf reported Einstein saying this, to which Mattersdorf replied, "There is one thing more difficult, and that is your theory of relativity." Einstein responded, "Oh no, that is easy."
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Born Agnes Bojaxhiu, Mother Teresa joined the Order of the Sisters of Our Lady of Loreto in Ireland at the age of 18. Known then as Sister Teresa, her journey in her faith would take her to India and onward to Darjeeling, where she continued her religious vows. Arriving in Calcutta, she was extremely moved by the sick and dying on the city's streets. It was there that she founded Missionaries of Charity, her lifelong work. She started the Kalighat Home for the Dying where she would gather the dying from the streets to give them home care during their last days. Mother Teresa continued …
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