Funny Quotes

Found 4,406 quotes in the topic of Funny .
[ Page 48 of 48 ]
David Ogilvy

"The best ideas come as jokes. Make your thinking as funny as possible." David Ogilvy
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American Businessman    Funny   

Mae West

"Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution." Mae West
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American Actress    Funny    Love    Marriage   

Willie Nelson

"You know why divorces are so expensive? They're worth it." Willie Nelson
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American Musician    Break Up    Divorce    Funny   

W. C. Fields

"It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to." W. C. Fields
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American Comedian    Funny   

Jerry Seinfeld

"The Four Levels of Comedy: Make your friends laugh, Make strangers laugh, Get paid to make strangers laugh, and Make people talk like you because it's so much fun." Jerry Seinfeld
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American Comedian    Comedy    Funny   

Mitch Hedberg

"One time a guy handed me a picture. He said, 'Here's a picture of me when I was younger.' Every picture is of you when you were younger. 'Here's a picture of me when I'm older.' 'You son of bit**, how'd you pull that off? Let me see that camera. What's it look like?'" Mitch Hedberg
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Funny   

Margaret Cho

"Maybe I wanted to hear it so badly that my ears betrayed my mind in order to secure my heart." Margaret Cho
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American Comedian    Funny   

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"Brains, integrity, and force may be all very well, but what you need today is Charm. Go ahead and work on your economic programs if you want to, I'll develop my radio personality." Gracie Allen
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American Comedian    Charm    Funny   

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"I was shocked. John Nicks was ... so mean, but he's so funny. I just didn't think he was going to take that role." Kurt Browning
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Funny   

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"A woman will allow herself to be clouded by her emotions. Her reasonable thought becomes completely unreasonable over the most ridiculous thing. It's a girl thing." Lea DeLaria
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American Comedian    Emotions    Funny   

Rodney Dangerfield

"I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it." Rodney Dangerfield
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American Comedian    Funny   

Jerry Seinfeld

"A bookstore is one of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking." Jerry Seinfeld
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American Comedian    Funny    People   

Steve Martin

"Hosting the Oscars is much like making love to a woman. It's something I only get to do when Billy Crystal is out of town." Steve Martin
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American Comedian    Funny    Love   

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Ronald Reagan
Birth: 1911-02-06 Death: 2004-05-06

"Our forbearance should never be misunderstood. Our reluctance for conflict should not be misjudged as a failure of will. When action is required to preserve our national security, we will act."



"The words you need by the people you admire."

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