Funny Quotes

Found 4,406 quotes in the topic of Funny .
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Josh Billings

"Love is said to be blind, but I know some fellows in love who can see twice as much in their sweethearts as I do." Josh Billings
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American Comedian    Funny    Love   

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"A man is already halfway in love with any woman who listens to him." Brendan Francis
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American Businessman    Funny    Love    Men And Women   

Marilyn Monroe

"I used to think as I looked out on the Hollywood night, 'There must be thousands of girls sitting alone like me, dreaming of becoming a movie star. But I'm not going to worry about them. I'm dreaming the hardest." Marilyn Monroe
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Funny   

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"Worrying works! 90% of the things I worry about never happen." Author Unknown
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Funny    Short   

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"I should've known it wasn't going to work out between my ex-wife and me. After all, I'm a Libra and she's a bitch." Author Unknown
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Funny    Short   

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"Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?" Author Unknown
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Funny    Short   

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"Sometimes I wake up grumpy; other times I let her sleep." Author Unknown
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Funny    Short   

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"You are in love when you feel that the song you are listening is written just for you." Author Unknown
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Funny    Love   

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"Love is just like a card game; first kick out the jokers then throw away hearts, keep the diamond and try to win the king." Author Unknown
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Funny    Love   

Benjamin Franklin

"We must hang together, or surely we shall hang separately." Benjamin Franklin
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Friends Or Friendship    Funny   

Samuel Butler

"Friendship is like money, easier made than kept." Samuel Butler
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Friends Or Friendship    Funny   

Groucho Marx

"Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him." Groucho Marx
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American Comedian    Control    Funny   

Al Franken

"Mistakes are a part of being human. Appreciate your mistakes for what they are: precious life lessons that can only be learned the hard way. Unless it's a fatal mistake, which, at least, others can learn from." Al Franken
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American Comedian    Funny    Life   

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