Funny Quotes

Found 4,406 quotes in the topic of Funny .
[ Page 48 of 48 ]
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"I should've known it wasn't going to work out between my ex-wife and me. After all, I'm a Libra and she's a bitch." Author Unknown
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Funny    Short   

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"Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?" Author Unknown
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Funny    Short   

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"Sometimes I wake up grumpy; other times I let her sleep." Author Unknown
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Funny    Short   

Dr. Seuss

"I've heard there are troubles of more than one kind, some come from ahead and some come from behind.
But I've brought a big bat. I'm already you see,
now my troubles are going to have troubles with me!"
Dr. Seuss
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Funny    Humorous   

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"You are in love when you feel that the song you are listening is written just for you." Author Unknown
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Funny    Love   

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"Love is just like a card game; first kick out the jokers then throw away hearts, keep the diamond and try to win the king." Author Unknown
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Funny    Love   

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"Tell me what you need and I'll tell you how to get along without it." Author Unknown
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Cute    Funny    Short   

Benjamin Franklin

"We must hang together, or surely we shall hang separately." Benjamin Franklin
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Friends Or Friendship    Funny   

Samuel Butler

"Friendship is like money, easier made than kept." Samuel Butler
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Friends Or Friendship    Funny   

Groucho Marx

"Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him." Groucho Marx
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American Comedian    Control    Funny   

Al Franken

"Mistakes are a part of being human. Appreciate your mistakes for what they are: precious life lessons that can only be learned the hard way. Unless it's a fatal mistake, which, at least, others can learn from." Al Franken
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American Comedian    Funny    Life   

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"The difference between a mountain and a molehill is your perspective." Al Neuharth
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Funny    Motivational    Perception    Perspective   

Ann Richards

"I've always said that in politics, your enemies can't hurt you, but your friends will kill you." Ann Richards
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American Politician    Enemies    Friends Or Friendship    Funny   

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