Funny Quotes

312 quotes in the topic of Funny with photos

Whether you're in the depths of the doldrums or want to lift the spirits of a family member or friend, funny quotes can be the perfect antidote. Delivered by some of the world’s greatest comedians, from W.C. Fields and Grouch Marx to Chris Rock, humor is a universal power that will leave us laughing, guffawing, chortling and rolling in the aisles. Funny quotes aren’t just hilarious. Many of them can help us see the folly of ourselves and each other, as well as those little grains of truth that run through good comedy and humor. Life is not always a basket of roses; sometimes it seems to be beating you down, and it probably feels impossible to smile or laugh. Our collection of Funny Quotes will get you rolling on the floor in laughter, your sides splitting and tears running down your face (well maybe)! They are the perfect go-to whenever you need a chuckle to brighten your day. "If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?" Stephen Wright From smiles to giggles to all-out deep-throated guffaws that will have you gasping for air, these hilarious words from thousands of authors will give you the perfect witty thing to say; whether for graduation or a birthday, a project or personal pleasure, we have funny quotes galore! And after you browse our funny quotes, you might want to check out the motivational quotes on Great-Quotes to find the motivation you will need to get back to work!

All 1,000+ Funny Quotes Top Funny Quotes Funny Quotes: "Shorts"

 

Funny Quotes


Life is not always a basket of roses; sometimes it seems to be beating you down, and it probably feels impossible to smile or laugh. Our collection of Funny Quotes will get you rolling on the floor in laughter, your sides splitting and tears running down your face (well maybe)! They are the perfect go-to whenever you need a chuckle to brighten your day.


"If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?" Stephen Wright


From smiles to giggles to all-out deep-throated guffaws that will have you gasping for air, these hilarious words from thousands of authors will give you the perfect witty thing to say; whether for graduation or a birthday, a project or personal pleasure, we have funny quotes galore!


And after you browse our funny quotes, you might want to check out the motivational quotes on Great-Quotes to find the motivation you will need to get back to work!

Reference.com Definition of Funny
Funny on Wikipedia.org


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He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.
We were given: Two hands to hold. Two legs to walk. Two eyes to see. Two ears to listen. But why only one heart? Because the other was given to someone else for us to find.
Marriage is too interesting an experiment to be tried only once.
Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't.
Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the the universe.
Always do right.  This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.
It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.
I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.
If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.
When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.
Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.
Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is God's gift, that's why we call it the present.
Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.
Don't wait for a light to appear at the end of the tunnel, stride down there and light the bloody thing yourself.
A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that 'individuality' is the key to success.
The hardest thing in the world to understand is income taxes.
Some cause happiness wherever they go;  others whenever they go


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