Funny Short Quotes

Found 177 quotes in the topic of Funny Short .
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"The sole purpose of a child's middle name, is so he can tell when he's really in trouble." Justine Vogt
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Funny    Quote of the Day    Short   

Bertrand Russell

"War does not determine who is right - only who is left." Bertrand Russell
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British Philosopher    Funny    Quote of the Day    Short    War   

Will Rogers

"The income tax has made liars out of more Americans than golf." Will Rogers
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Funny    Quote of the Day    Short   

Jay Leno

"The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot." Jay Leno
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American Comedian    Doctors    Funny    Quote of the Day    Short   

George Burns

"Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you've got it made." George Burns
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Acting And Actors    American Comedian    Funny    Quote of the Day    Short   

George Carlin

"Atheism is a non-prophet organization" George Carlin
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Atheism    Funny    Quote of the Day    Short   

Zsa Zsa Gabor

"A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he's finished." Zsa Zsa Gabor
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Funny    Marriage    Quote of the Day    Short   

Albert Einstein

"Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen." Albert Einstein
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Funny    German Physicist    Quote of the Day    Short   

 Voltaire

"Prejudices are what fools use for reason." Voltaire
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Fools And Foolishness    French Writer    Funny    Quote of the Day    Short   

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"For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain." Author Unknown
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Cute    Funny    Short   

Oscar Wilde

"I have met a lot of hardboiled eggs in my time, but you're twenty minutes." Oscar Wilde
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Determination    Funny    Short   

Winston Churchill

"The best argument against democracy is a five minute conversation with the average voter." Winston Churchill
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Argument    Funny    Short   

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"Cheer up, the worst is yet to come" Philander Johnson
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Cute    Funny    Short   

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"If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something." Author Unknown
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Cute    Funny    Motivational    Short   

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"When in doubt, mumble; when in trouble, delegate; when in charge, ponder." James Boren
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American Publicservant    Funny    Short   

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"Women may not hit harder, but they hit lower." Author Unknown
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Funny    Short    Top Women    Women   

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"I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives." Author Unknown
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Funny    Short   

George Carlin

"Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that." George Carlin
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Funny    Humanity    Short   

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"If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong." Author Unknown
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"Children in the dark cause accidents, accidents in the dark cause children." Author Unknown
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Funny    Short   

George Burns

"I'm very pleased to be here. Let's face it, at my age I'm very pleased to be anywhere." George Burns
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Age And Aging    American Comedian    Funny    Short   

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Mae West
Birth: 1893-08-17 Death: 1980-11-22

"No gold-digging for me... I take diamonds! We may be off the gold standard someday."

Inventor, painter, sculptor philosopher and scientist, Leonardo da Vinci has left a legacy of important works in art as well as inventions that often didn't come to fruition for hundreds of years after his death, including the tank and the parachute. da Vinci often failed to complete what he started, becoming distracted with new ideas and projects. It took him 17 years to complete just six works, including The Last Supper. When he wasn't painting, he was involved in a range of studies, from mechanics and architecture to combat devices, including the idea of a submarine. He meticulously…



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