Funny Short Quotes

Found 177 quotes in the topic of Funny Short .
[ Page 9 of 9 ]
Bill Maher

"I think flying planes into a building was a faith-based initiative. I think religion is a neurological disorder." Bill Maher
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"I’m surprized Hitler didn’t round up the toupee people." Larry David
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Jay Leno

"Here’s something to think about: How come you never see a headline like ‘Psychic Wins Lottery’?" Jay Leno
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"A little necrophilia never killed anyone." Author Unknown
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"I miss you like a retard misses the point." Author Unknown
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Steve Martin

"I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy." Steve Martin
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Steve Martin

"You know what your problem is, it’s that you haven’t seen enough movies – all of life’s riddles are answered in the movies." Steve Martin
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"We declared war on terror, it’s not even a noun, so, good luck." Jon Stewart
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"If a wolf can take down a deer from either flank, does that make him bambidextrous?" Author Unknown
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George Carlin
Birth: 1937-05-12 Death: 2008-06-22

"What does it mean to pre-board? Do you get on before you get on?"

Releasing 23 comedy albums, hosting 14 HBO specials and authoring three best sellers during his lifetime, comedian George Carlin helped define modern stand-up routines with his rapid fire commentary on politics, race, hypocrisy and society. His command of the English language allowed him to dissect its nuances and oddities, questioning everything from the meaning of time to getting into an airplane instead of getting on a plane™. His Seven Dirty Words You Can Never Say on Television led to his arrest and his landmark case before the Supreme Court. Carlin always pushed the limits, from…



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