Funny Editor's Pick Quotes

Found 70 quotes in the topic of Funny Editor's Pick .
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"We were given: Two hands to hold. Two legs to walk. Two eyes to see. Two ears to listen. But why only one heart? Because the other was given to someone else for us to find." Author Unknown
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Cute Love    Editor's Pick    Facebook    Funny    Love    Quote of the Day    Sweet Love    Valentine's Day   

Erica Mann Jong

"Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't." Erica Mann Jong
How to Save Your Own Life (1977) Add Category or Author

   Advice    Editor's Pick    Famous    Funny    Knowledge    Motivational    Pearls of Wisdom    Quotes    Top 100   

Albert Einstein

"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the the universe." Albert Einstein
The authenticity of this quote is disputed and no source before 1969 can be found, though this sentiment was certainly not expressed first by Einstein even if it was really spoken by him. Earlier variants include, "He quotes the saying of Renan: it isn't the stars that give him an idea of infinity; it is man's stupidity" and "But who knows? The earth has its boundaries, but human stupidity is infinite!" Add Category or Author

Editor's Pick    Einstein    Famous    Funny    Human    Pearls of Wisdom    Quote of the Day    Top 100   

Winston Churchill

"A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on." Winston Churchill
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Editor's Pick    English Statesman    Famous    Funny    Lies And Lying    Quote of the Day    Short   

Sam Levenson

"If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button." Sam Levenson
As quoted in Hands Pointed Up (2004) pg. 145 Add Category or Author

American Author    Editor's Pick    Funny    Quote of the Day    Short   

Will Rogers

"When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car." Will Rogers
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Editor's Pick    Funny    Quote of the Day    Short   

Robert Orben

"A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that 'individuality' is the key to success." Robert Orben
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American Entertainer Quotes    Editor's Pick    Funny    Quote of the Day   

Oscar Wilde

"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go" Oscar Wilde
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Editor's Pick    Funny    Quote of the Day    Short   

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"The only reason some people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory." Paul Fix
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Editor's Pick    Funny    Quote of the Day    Short    Thoughts And Thinking   

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"You can't leave footprints in the sands of time if you're sitting on your butt. And who wants to leave buttprints in the sands of time?" Author Unknown
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Editor's Pick    Funny    Quote of the Day   

Albert Einstein

"I don't know what weapons will be used in world war three, but in world war four people will use sticks and stones." Albert Einstein
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Editor's Pick    Funny    Humorous    Quote of the Day    War    Weapons   

Albert Einstein

"Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed." Albert Einstein
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Change    Editor's Pick    Funny    Quote of the Day   

Jack Handey

"Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes." Jack Handey ,
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Clever    Editor's Pick    Funny    Quote of the Day   

Winston Churchill

"Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into an even smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill-designed for the purpose." Winston Churchill
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Editor's Pick    Funny    Golf    Quote of the Day   

Robert Orben

"Washington is a place where politicians don't know which way is up and taxes don't know which way is down." Robert Orben
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American Entertainer Quotes    Editor's Pick    Funny    Quote of the Day   

H. Auden

"A professor is one who talks in someone else's sleep" H. Auden
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Editor's Pick    Funny    Quote of the Day   

Mark Twain

"Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen." Mark Twain
As quoted in Autobiography with Letters (1939) pg. 965 Add Category or Author

Age And Aging    Birthday    Editor's Pick    Funny    Life    Quote of the Day   

Jerry Seinfeld

"Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I think if you've got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem. Maybe you should get rid of the body before you do the wash." Jerry Seinfeld
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American Comedian    Editor's Pick    Funny    Quote of the Day   

Tommy Cooper

"I had a dream last night, I was eating a ten pound marshmallow. I woke up this morning and the pillow was gone." Tommy Cooper
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Editor's Pick    Funny    Quote of the Day   

George W. Bush

"I've often thought that the process of aging could be slowed down if it had to go through Congress." George W. Bush
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Congress    Editor's Pick    Funny    Quote of the Day   

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"When you feel neglected, think of the female salmon, who lays 3,000,000 eggs but no one remembers her on Mother's Day" Sam Ewing
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Editor's Pick    Funny    Quote of the Day   



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