English Comedian Quotes

Found 134 quotes in the topic of English Comedian by .
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"Silence is not only golden, it is seldom misquoted."

Bob Monkhouse Topics: English Comedian Funny Quote of the Day

"As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two."

Norman Wisdom Topics: Birthday English Comedian Funny Memory Quote of the Day

"The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with."

Marty Feldman Topics: Editor's Pick English Comedian Funny Quote of the Day

"If two people were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary."

Larry Dixon Topics: English Comedian Funny People

"My wife is a sex object - every time I ask for sex, she objects."

Les Dawson Topics: English Comedian Funny

"Money can't buy poverty."

Marty Feldman Topics: English Comedian Funny Money

"The worst drivers are women in people carriers, men in white vans and anyone in a baseball cap. That's just about everyone."

Paul O'Grady Topics: English Comedian Funny

"Comedy, like sodomy, is an unnatural act."

Marty Feldman Topics: English Comedian Funny

"I can always tell when the mother in law's coming to stay; the mice throw themselves on the traps."

Les Dawson Topics: English Comedian Funny Mother

"I dress up as a middle-aged prostitute and do a game show."

Paul O'Grady Topics: English Comedian Funny

"Marriage is an institution and that's where a couple finish up."

Les Dawson Topics: English Comedian Funny Marriage

"You're about as useful as a one-legged man at an arse kicking contest."

Rowan Atkinson Topics: English Comedian Funny Man

"I'm not saying my wife's a bad cook, but she uses a smoke alarm as a timer."

Bob Monkhouse Topics: English Comedian Funny

"And what's interesting about him as a comic character is that the custard pie hardly ever ends up on his face."

Rowan Atkinson Topics: English Comedian Funny

"I feel as though the camera is almost a kind of voyeur in Mr. Bean's life, and you just watch this bizarre man going about his life in the way that he wants to."

Rowan Atkinson Topics: English Comedian Funny

"I owe everything to the army."

Norman Wisdom Topics: English Comedian Funny

"Those hot pants of hers were so damned tight, I could hardly breathe."

Benny Hill Topics: English Comedian Funny

"Just because nobody complains doesn't mean all parachutes are perfect."

Benny Hill Topics: English Comedian Funny

"You look just like you!"

Eric Idle Topics: English Comedian Funny

"We've discovered that the less we do, the more money we make."

Eric Idle Topics: English Comedian Funny

"Do unto others, then run."

Benny Hill Topics: English Comedian Funny

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