American Comedian People Quotes

Found 26 quotes in the topic of American Comedian People .
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"If I play my cards right, I could bring network wrestling back to TV. Unfortunately, to most people, wrestling is a laughingstock. But fortunately, I'm reaching people who otherwise wouldn't watch it." — Andy Kaufman
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Rodney Dangerfield

"I worked in a pet store and people would ask how big I would get." — Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield

"I found there was only one way to look thin, hang out with fat people." — Rodney Dangerfield
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"Be kind to people on the way up - you'll meet them again on your way down." — Jimmy Durante
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"I think people really appreciate clever commercials, as do I. I think they're very entertaining. You just have to wade through all the garbage. That's one of the reasons people watch the Super Bowl. A lot of them watch it to see the commercials and not the actual game." — Kevin Nealon
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"If people can't deal with their problems, they numb themselves a little bit." — Kevin Nealon
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"Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down." — Jimmy Durante
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Mitch Hedberg

"It's very dangerous to wave to people you don't know because what if they don't have hands? They'll think you're cocky." — Mitch Hedberg
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Jerry Seinfeld

"A bookstore is one of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking." — Jerry Seinfeld
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Jay London

"People read me but they don't subscribe." — Jay London
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George Carlin

"I think people should be allowed to do anything they want. We haven't tried that for a while. Maybe this time it'll work." — George Carlin
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Lenny Bruce

"The "what should be" never did exist, but people keep trying to live up to it. There is no "what should be," there is only what is." — Lenny Bruce
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Robin Williams

"Gentiles are people who eat mayonnaise for no reason." — Robin Williams
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"I just want real reactions. I want people to laugh from the gut, be sad from the gut-or get angry from the gut." — Andy Kaufman
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"There are naked people in boots on a mountain top firing guns." — Andy Richter
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Joey Adams

"People are still willing to do an honest day's work. The trouble is they want a week's pay for it." — Joey Adams
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"I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something's wrong with me." — Elayne Boosler
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"There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on the escalators." — Stephen Wright
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"I installed a skylight in my apartment... The people who live above me are furious!" — Stephen Wright
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P. J. O'Rourke

"There's one more terrifying fact about old people: I'm going to be one soon." — P. J. O'Rourke
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"I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone." — Stephen Wright
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Mother Teresa
Birth: 1910-08-26 Death: 1997-09-05

Mother Teresa
"If you judge people, you have no time to love them."

Born Agnes Bojaxhiu, Mother Teresa joined the Order of the Sisters of Our Lady of Loreto in Ireland at the age of 18. Known then as Sister Teresa, her journey in her faith would take her to India and onward to Darjeeling, where she continued her religious vows. Arriving in Calcutta, she was extremely moved by the sick and dying on the city's streets. It was there that she founded Missionaries of Charity, her lifelong work. She started the Kalighat Home for the Dying where she would gather the dying from the streets to give them home care during their last days. Mother Teresa continued …

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