Woody Allen Quotes


Information about Woody Allen

Woody Allen
Woody Allen

Woody Allen began as a joke writer for a local newspaper at the young age of 15, writing a rumored 2,000 jokes a day. He moved on to writing for talk shows, feeling that they were being wasted. Convinced by friends to tell his own jokes, Woody Allen overcame severe stage fright and found that his unique style of comedy caught on with audiences. He later wrote and directed several films, hi…

Date of Birth: December 01, 1935


Found 209 quotes by Woody Allen .
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Woody Allen

"In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker." Woody Allen
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American Director    Authority   

Woody Allen

"If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans." Woody Allen
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American Director    Funny    Quote of the Day   

Woody Allen

"Seventy percent of success in life is showing up." Woody Allen
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American Director    Editor's Pick    Funny    Quote of the Day   

Woody Allen

"Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it." Woody Allen
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Causes    Editor's Pick    Love    Quote of the Day   

Woody Allen

"It is clear the future holds great opportunities. It also holds pitfalls. The trick will be to avoid the pitfalls, seize the opportunities, and get back home by six o'clock." Woody Allen
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Graduation   

Woody Allen

"Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon." Woody Allen
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American Director    Life    Quote of the Day   

Woody Allen

"You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred." Woody Allen
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American Director   

Woody Allen

"It is no secret that organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year. This is quite a profitable sum, especially when one considers that the Mafia spends very little for office supplies." Woody Allen
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America   

Woody Allen

"I'd never join a club that would allow a person like me to become a member." Woody Allen
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Club   

Woody Allen

"I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose." Woody Allen
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American Director    Editor's Pick    Funny    Quote of the Day   

Woody Allen

"believe it when I see it." Woody Allen
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Belief   

Woody Allen

"The good people sleep much better at night than the bad people. Of course, the bad people enjoy the waking hours much more." Woody Allen
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Bad   

Woody Allen

"Capital punishment would be more effective as a preventive measure if it were administered prior to the crime." Woody Allen
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Punishment   

Woody Allen

"I am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens." Woody Allen
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American Director   

Woody Allen

"There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?" Woody Allen
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American Director    Death   

Woody Allen

"If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very innovative." Woody Allen
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American Director    Failure   

Woody Allen

"My brain? That´s my second favourite organ." Woody Allen
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Brain   

Woody Allen

"The study of economy usually shows us that the best time for purchase was last year." Woody Allen
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Economy   

Woody Allen

"Sex without love is an empty experience, but, as empty experiences go, it's one of the best." Woody Allen
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Woody Allen

"Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television." Woody Allen
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American Director    Art   

Woody Allen

"To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition." Woody Allen
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American Director   





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