W. C. Fields Quotes


Information about W. C. Fields

W. C. Fields
W. C. Fields

Born William Claude Dukenfield in Philadelphia, little is known of W.C. Fields' youth, mainly because of his own exaggerations. Even the year is in question, though it's commonly held it was 1880. Eschewing formal schooling he dabbled in card playing, shooting pool and juggling instead. Juggling led to a vaudeville routine where he took the name W.C. Fields. He starred in his first movie i…

Date of Birth: January 29, 1880
Date of Death: December 25, 1946


Found 105 quotes by W. C. Fields .
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W. C. Fields

"No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it's only a question of degree." W. C. Fields
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American Comedian    Funny    Quote of the Day   

W. C. Fields

"I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food." W. C. Fields
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American Comedian    Funny    Quote of the Day   

W. C. Fields

"Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler." W. C. Fields
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American Comedian    Funny    Quote of the Day   

W. C. Fields

"Remember, a dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream." W. C. Fields
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Life    Quote of the Day   

W. C. Fields

"When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty." W. C. Fields
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Advice    American Comedian    Funny   

W. C. Fields

"The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath." W. C. Fields
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American Comedian    Funny   

W. C. Fields

"Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard on a cold night, she can still survive." W. C. Fields
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American Comedian    Funny   

W. C. Fields

"A good wife is one who can mow the lawn in the summer and put up the storm windows in the winter." W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields

"A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money." W. C. Fields
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Man    Money   

W. C. Fields

"There are only two real ways to get ahead today -- sell liquor or drink it." W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields

"I once spent a year in Philadelphia, I think it was on a Sunday." W. C. Fields
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Cities And City Life    Life    Philadelphia   

W. C. Fields

"Either you're drunk or your braces are lopsided." W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields

"Set up another case bartender! The best thing for a case of nerves is a case of Scotch." W. C. Fields
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American Comedian    Funny   

W. C. Fields

"Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water." W. C. Fields
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Abstinence    Food   

W. C. Fields

"Last week, I went to Philadelphia, but it was closed." W. C. Fields
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American Comedian    Funny   

W. C. Fields

"During one of my treks through Afghanistan, we lost our corkscrew. We were compelled to live on food and water for several days." W. C. Fields
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Afghanistan   

W. C. Fields

"Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water." W. C. Fields
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Africa    American Comedian    Funny   

W. C. Fields

"Never cry over spilt milk, because it may have been poisoned." W. C. Fields
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American Comedian    Funny   

W. C. Fields

"If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull." W. C. Fields
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American Comedian    Funny   

W. C. Fields

"The first thing any comedian does on getting an unscheduled laugh is to verify the state of his buttons." W. C. Fields
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W. C. Fields

"After two days in hospital, I took a turn for the nurse." W. C. Fields
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Documents that Mention W. C. Fields

- March 20, 2012 , Great Wine Quotes through the Centuries




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