Rodney Dangerfield Quotes


Information about Rodney Dangerfield

Rodney Dangerfield
Rodney Dangerfield

One of the kings of the one liner, Rodney Dangerfield got a lot of respect during his career, which included standup and movies. Though he started standup as a teen, he gave it up for a decade to be a salesman. Returning to the stage, he refined his trademark patter and neurotic persona. His big break came when he appeared on The Ed Sullivan Show, which he had snuck into. This led to stint…

Date of Birth: November 22, 1921
Date of Death: October 05, 2004


Found 70 quotes by Rodney Dangerfield .
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Rodney Dangerfield

"My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too." Rodney Dangerfield
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American Comedian    Funny    Quote of the Day    Short   

Rodney Dangerfield

"I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender." Rodney Dangerfield
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American Comedian    Editor's Pick    Funny    Quote of the Day   

Rodney Dangerfield

"I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap." Rodney Dangerfield
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American Comedian    Family    Funny   

Rodney Dangerfield

"When I was born the doctor took one look at my face .... turned me over and said. Look ... twins!" Rodney Dangerfield
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Rodney Dangerfield

"My wife is always trying to get rid of me. The other day she told me to put the garbage out. I said to her I already did. She told me to go and keep an eye on it." Rodney Dangerfield
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American Comedian    Funny   

Rodney Dangerfield

"I was so poor growing up - if I wasn't a boy - I'd have had nothing to play with" Rodney Dangerfield
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Funny   

Rodney Dangerfield

"On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me." Rodney Dangerfield
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American Comedian    Funny   

Rodney Dangerfield

"With me, nothing goes right. My psychiatrist said my wife and I should have sex every night. Now, we'll never see each other!" Rodney Dangerfield
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American Comedian    Funny    Night   

Rodney Dangerfield

"My wife's jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was." Rodney Dangerfield
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American Comedian    Funny   

Rodney Dangerfield

"My cousins gay, he went to London only to find out that Big Ben was a clock." Rodney Dangerfield
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American Comedian    Funny   

Rodney Dangerfield

"What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bee and he told me about the butcher and my wife." Rodney Dangerfield
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American Comedian    Funny   

Rodney Dangerfield

"We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations - we're doing everything we can to keep our marriage together." Rodney Dangerfield
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American Comedian    Funny    Sleep   

Rodney Dangerfield

"I worked in a pet store and people would ask how big I would get." Rodney Dangerfield
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American Comedian    Funny    People   

Rodney Dangerfield

"I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a brown tie." Rodney Dangerfield
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American Comedian    Funny   

Rodney Dangerfield

"Some dog I got too. We call him Egypt. Because in every room he leaves a pyramid." Rodney Dangerfield
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American Comedian    Funny   

Rodney Dangerfield

"I had plenty of pimples as a kid. One day I fell asleep in the library. When I woke up, a blind man was reading my face." Rodney Dangerfield
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American Comedian    Funny   

Rodney Dangerfield

"It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass." Rodney Dangerfield
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American Comedian    Funny   

Rodney Dangerfield

"I'm so ugly - My mother had morning sickness - After I was born" Rodney Dangerfield
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Mother   

Rodney Dangerfield

"Life is just a bowl of pits." Rodney Dangerfield
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American Comedian    Funny    Life   

Rodney Dangerfield

"My mother never breast-fed me. She told me she liked me as a friend." Rodney Dangerfield
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American Comedian    Funny    Mother   

Rodney Dangerfield

"I was such an ugly kid - When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up" Rodney Dangerfield
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Children   





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Birth: 1937-05-12 Death: 2008-06-22

"What does it mean to pre-board? Do you get on before you get on?"

Releasing 23 comedy albums, hosting 14 HBO specials and authoring three best sellers during his lifetime, comedian George Carlin helped define modern stand-up routines with his rapid fire commentary on politics, race, hypocrisy and society. His command of the English language allowed him to dissect its nuances and oddities, questioning everything from the meaning of time to getting into an airplane instead of getting on a plane™. His Seven Dirty Words You Can Never Say on Television led to his arrest and his landmark case before the Supreme Court. Carlin always pushed the limits, from…



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