P. J. O'Rourke Quotes


Information about P. J. O'Rourke

P. J. O'Rourke
P. J. O'Rourke

Patrick Jake O'Rourke was one of America's most provocative and hilarious writers who espoused the ideals of gonzo journalism as a satirist, journalist and author. His odd mixture of conservatism and libertarian leanings is tempered in his writing by a slight outrageousness and endless one-liners and witticisms. He is regularly featured in The Atlantic Monthly, The American Spectator and i…

Date of Birth: November 14, 1947


Found 77 quotes by P. J. O'Rourke .
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P. J. O'Rourke

"Staying married may have long-term benefits. You can elicit much more sympathy from friends over a bad marriage than you ever can from a good divorce." P. J. O'Rourke
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American Comedian    Divorce    Funny    Quote of the Day   

P. J. O'Rourke

"Making fun of born-again Christians is like hunting dairy cows with a high powered rifle and scope." P. J. O'Rourke
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Christianity    Religious   

P. J. O'Rourke

"You can't get rid of poverty by giving people money." P. J. O'Rourke
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Generosity    Poverty And The Poor   

P. J. O'Rourke

"The principle feature of American liberalism is sanctimoniousness. By loudly denouncing all bad things -- war and hunger and date rape -- liberals testify to their own terrific goodness. More important, they promote themselves to membership in a self-selecting elite of those who care deeply about such things. It's a kind of natural aristocracy, and the wonderful thing about this aristocracy is that you don't have to be brave, smart, strong or even lucky to join it, you just have to be liberal." P. J. O'Rourke
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Liberals   

P. J. O'Rourke

"With Epcot Center the Disney corporation has accomplished something I didn't think possible in today's world. They have created a land of make-believe that's worse than regular life." P. J. O'Rourke
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Disney   

P. J. O'Rourke

"You know your children are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they're going." P. J. O'Rourke
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Children   

P. J. O'Rourke

"The weirder you're going to behave, the more normal you should look. It works in reverse, too. When I see a kid with three or four rings in his nose, I know there is absolutely nothing extraordinary about that person." P. J. O'Rourke
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American Comedian    Funny   

P. J. O'Rourke

"Social Security is a government program with a constituency made up of the old, the near old and those who hope or fear to grow old. After 215 years of trying, we have finally discovered a special interest that includes 100 percent of the population. Now we can vote ourselves rich." P. J. O'Rourke
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Government    Welfare   

P. J. O'Rourke

"One of the annoying things about believing in free will and individual responsibility is the difficulty of finding somebody to blame your problems on. And when you do find somebody, it's remarkable how often his picture turns up on your driver's license." P. J. O'Rourke
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Free Will   

P. J. O'Rourke

"Earnestness is stupidity sent to college." P. J. O'Rourke
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American Comedian    College    Funny   

P. J. O'Rourke

"Every government is a parliament of whores. The trouble is, in a democracy, the whores are us." P. J. O'Rourke
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American Comedian    Democracy    Funny   

P. J. O'Rourke

"The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and remove the crabgrass on your lawn. The Republicans are the party that says government doesn't work and then they get elected and prove it." P. J. O'Rourke
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American Comedian    Democracy    Funny   

P. J. O'Rourke

"No drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're looking for the source of our troubles, we shouldn't test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity, ignorance, greed and love of power." P. J. O'Rourke
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Alcohol And Alcoholism   

P. J. O'Rourke

"Because of their size, parents may be difficult to discipline properly." P. J. O'Rourke
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American Comedian    Discipline    Funny   

P. J. O'Rourke

"Automobiles are free of egotism, passion, prejudice and stupid ideas about where to have dinner. They are, literally, selfless. A world designed for automobiles instead of people would have wider streets, larger dining rooms, fewer stairs to climb and no smelly, dangerous subway stations." P. J. O'Rourke
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Automobile   

P. J. O'Rourke

"I suppose I should get a VCR, but the only thing I like about television is its ephemerality." P. J. O'Rourke
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P. J. O'Rourke

"When a couple decide to divorce, they should inform both sets of parents before having a party and telling all their friends. This is not only courteous but practical. Parents may be very willing to pitch in with comments, criticism and malicious gossip of their own to help the divorce along" P. J. O'Rourke
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Divorce   

P. J. O'Rourke

"Government proposes, bureaucracy disposes. And the bureaucracy must dispose of government proposals by dumping them on us." P. J. O'Rourke
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Bureaucracy   

P. J. O'Rourke

"If government were a product, selling it would be illegal." P. J. O'Rourke
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American Comedian    Funny    Government   

P. J. O'Rourke

"Never fight an inanimate object." P. J. O'Rourke
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American Comedian    Funny   

P. J. O'Rourke

"Everybody knows how to raise children, except the people who have them." P. J. O'Rourke
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American Comedian    Children    Funny   





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