Ogden Nash

(283 votes)   A husband is a guy who tells you when you've got on too much lipstick and helps you with your girdle when your hips stick.

Ogden Nash
1902-1971, American Humorous Poet

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(249 votes)   A husband is a guy who tells you when you've got on too much lipstick and helps you with your girdle when your hips stick.

Ogden Nash

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(228 votes)   Good wine needs no bush, and perhaps products that people really want need no hard-sell or soft-sell TV push. Why not? Look at pot.

Ogden Nash
1902-1971, American Humorous Poet

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(161 votes)   The further through life I drift the more obvious it becomes that I am lacking in thrift.

Ogden Nash
1902-1971, American Humorous Poet

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(149 votes)   Your hair may be brushed, but your mind's untidy. You've had about seven hours of sleep since Friday. No wonder you feel that lost sensation. You're sunk from a riot of relaxation.

Ogden Nash
1902-1971, American Humorous Poet

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(121 votes)   Here is a pen and here is a pencil, here's a typewriter, here's a stencil, here's a list of today's appointments, and all the flies in all the ointments, the daily woes that a man endures -- take them, George, they're yours!

Ogden Nash
1902-1971, American Humorous Poet

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(117 votes)   How easy for those who do not bulge to not overindulge!

Ogden Nash
1902-1971, American Humorous Poet

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(116 votes)   If you are really Master of your Fate, it shouldn't make any difference to you whether Cleopatra or the Bearded Lady is your mate.

Ogden Nash
1902-1971, American Humorous Poet

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(95 votes)   I do not like to get the news, because there has never been an era when so many things were going so right for so many of the wrong persons.

Ogden Nash
American, Poet Quotes

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(91 votes)   No matter how deep and dark your pit, how dank your shroud, their heads are heroically unbloody and unbowed.

Ogden Nash
1902-1971, American Humorous Poet

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(89 votes)   Man is a victim of dope in the incurable form of hope.

Ogden Nash
1902-1971, American Humorous Poet

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(86 votes)   Indoors or out, no one relaxes in March, that month of wind and taxes, the wind will presently disappear, the taxes last us all the year.

Ogden Nash
1902-1971, American Humorous Poet

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(86 votes)   They take the paper and they read the headlines. So they've heard of unemployment and they've heard of bread-lines. And they philanthropically cure them all by getting up a costume charity ball.

Ogden Nash
1902-1971, American Humorous Poet

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(81 votes)   Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who cannot sleep with window shut, and a woman who cannot sleep with the window open.

Ogden Nash
1902-1971, American Humorous Poet

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(80 votes)   I think that I shall never see a billboard lovely as a tree. Perhaps, unless the billboards fall, I'll never see a tree at all.

Ogden Nash
American, Poet Quotes

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