Milton Berle Quotes


Information about Milton Berle

Milton Berle
Milton Berle

Known as Uncle Miltie to millions of viewers, Milton Berle was one of the biggest comedians in the golden age of television. His brash demeanor and comedic timing made Berle so big in the early days of television that NBC signed him to an unprecedented 30-year lifetime contract in 1951. Berle got his start in show business in Vaudeville, where he served as a headliner. The star of Texaco S…

Date of Birth: July 12, 1908
Date of Death: March 27, 2002


Found 21 quotes by Milton Berle .
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Milton Berle

"If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?" Milton Berle
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American Comedian    Evolution    Funny   

Milton Berle

"If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door." Milton Berle
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American Comedian    Funny   

Milton Berle

"A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours." Milton Berle
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American Comedian    Funny   

Milton Berle

"Poverty is not a disgrace, but it's terribly inconvenient." Milton Berle
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American Comedian    Funny    Poverty   

Milton Berle

"I just filled out my income tax forms. Who says you can't get killed by a blank?" Milton Berle
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American Comedian    Funny    Income   

Milton Berle

"I'd rather be a could-be if I cannot be an are; because a could-be is a maybe who is reaching for a star. I'd rather be a has-been than a might-have-been, by far; for a might have-been has never been, but a has was once an are." Milton Berle
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American Comedian    Funny   

Milton Berle

"A young man fills out an application for a job and does well until he gets to the last question, "Who Should we notify in case of an accident?" He mulls it over and then writes, "Anybody in sight!"." Milton Berle
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Man   

Milton Berle

"The company accountant is shy and retiring. He's shy a quarter of a million dollars. That's why he's retiring." Milton Berle
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American Comedian    Company    Funny   

Milton Berle

"We owe a lot to Thomas Edison -- if it wasn't for him, we'd be watching television by candlelight." Milton Berle
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Television   

Milton Berle

"Anytime a person goes into a delicatessen and orders a pastrami on white bread, somewhere a Jew dies." Milton Berle
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American Comedian    Funny   

Milton Berle

"Committee--a group of men who keep minutes and waste hours." Milton Berle
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Committees And Meetings    Men   

Milton Berle

"Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name." Milton Berle
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American Comedian    Experience    Funny   

Milton Berle

"I live to laugh, and I laugh to live" Milton Berle
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Laughter   

Milton Berle

"A man is hit by a car while crossing a Beverly Hills street. A woman rushes to him and cradles his head in her lap, asking, "Are you comfortable?" The man answers, "I make a nice living."" Milton Berle
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Man   

Milton Berle

"Marriage is one of the few institutions that allow a man to do as his wife pleases." Milton Berle
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Institutions   

Milton Berle

"We owe a lot to Thomas Edison - if it wasn't for him, we'd be watching television by candlelight." Milton Berle
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American Comedian    Funny   

Milton Berle

"I feel like Zsa Zsa Gabor's sixth husband. I know what I'm supposed to do, but I don't know how to make it interesting." Milton Berle
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American Comedian    Funny   

Milton Berle

"I live to laugh, and I laugh to live." Milton Berle
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American Comedian    Funny   

Milton Berle

"You can lead a man to Congress, but you can't make him think." Milton Berle
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American Comedian    Funny   

Milton Berle

"Laughter is an instant vacation." Milton Berle
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American Comedian    Funny   

Milton Berle

"A committee is a group that keeps the minutes and loses hours." Milton Berle
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American Comedian    Funny   





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