Jimmy Fallon Quotes

Found 52 quotes by Jimmy Fallon .
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"When I see professional clowns, mimes, or people who makes ballon animals, I think of their relatives and how disappointed they must be." Jimmy Fallon
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American Comedian    Animals    Funny   

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"I know what you want. And I know what you need. But I'm gonna screw it up, yeah, cause I'm an idiot. And I'm your boyfriend." Jimmy Fallon
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Cute Boyfriend   

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"I´m starting to think that I´m the butt of a joke the whole world is in on." Jimmy Fallon
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"We played for about four hours." Jimmy Fallon
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"I often try to reassure myself by saying, ""Well, at least it can´t get any worse."" But the truth is, it always can. And that´s what really terrifies me." Jimmy Fallon
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"Ted Kaczynski, the Unabomber, donated many of this writings to the University of Michigan. The pagers are an invaluable resource for students majoring in Crazy." Jimmy Fallon
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"I get that all the time, ... People come up and say, 'Me and my wife think you're so funny.' They think I'm him. But that's OK." Jimmy Fallon
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"New Scientist magazine reported that in the future, cars could be powered by hazelnuts. That's encouraging, considering an eight-ounce jar of hazelnuts costs about nine dollars. Yeah, I've got an idea for a car that runs on bald eagle heads and Faberge eggs." Jimmy Fallon
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Future   

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"YOU can wear him to anything. From casual to evening." Jimmy Fallon
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"Sometimes I wish I had a terrible childhood, so that at least I´d have an excuse." Jimmy Fallon
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Childhood   

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"Don't Keep reaching for the stars because you'll just look like an idiot stretching that way for no reason" Jimmy Fallon
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Reason   

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"Hey baby, do you like fine cooking? Cause you know what? I got Swanson's Dinner in the freezer with your name on it.""" Jimmy Fallon
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Cooking   

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"Researches tested a new form of medical marijuana that treats pain but doesn't get the user high, prompting patients who need medical marijuana to declare, ""Thank you?""" Jimmy Fallon
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Pain   

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"It makes me nervous seeing a 20-foot me, like I'm getting too big or something, ... Not that I mind being recognized. When I'm 60 I'll be begging for this." Jimmy Fallon
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Mind   

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"They say a dog is a man?s best friend.That?s if you?re lucky enough to get one of those ""friendly"" dogs." Jimmy Fallon
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"The Pentagon banned the army from using Chinese-made berets. In a more veiled slap at the Chinese, the Pentagon also banned any alternative form of checkers." Jimmy Fallon
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Army   

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"A Pennsylvania woman convicted for shoplifting was sentenced to wear a badge that reads ""Convicted Shoplifter."" However, her lawyers hope to plea bargain down to a bumper sticker reading ""I'd Rather Be Stealing!""" Jimmy Fallon
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"I just really don't like being the center of attention that much. It's kind of ironic." Jimmy Fallon
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American Comedian    Funny   

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"If you're a sports fan you realize that when you meet somebody, like a girlfriend, they kind of have to root for your team. They don't have a choice." Jimmy Fallon
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American Comedian    Funny   

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"We picked the Red Sox because they lose. If you root for something that loses for 86 years, you're a pretty good fan. You don't have to win everything to be a fan of something." Jimmy Fallon
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American Comedian    Funny   

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"You only think of the best comeback when you leave." Jimmy Fallon
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American Comedian    Funny   





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