Jerry Seinfeld Quotes


Information about Jerry Seinfeld

Jerry Seinfeld
Jerry Seinfeld

Jerry Seinfeld began to refine his comedic skills at the age of 8, watching television to learn the secrets of the great comedians. Specializing in observational comedy, he made his debut at open mike night at the Catch a Rising Star nightclub. An appearance on The Tonight Show gained him national prominence. Asked to develop a show for NBC, he and friend Larry David created the show about…

Date of Birth: April 29, 1954


Found 41 quotes by Jerry Seinfeld .
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Jerry Seinfeld

"Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I think if you've got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem. Maybe you should get rid of the body before you do the wash." Jerry Seinfeld
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American Comedian    Editor's Pick    Funny    Quote of the Day   

Jerry Seinfeld

"Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason." Jerry Seinfeld
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Funny    Life    Quote of the Day   

Jerry Seinfeld

"Where lipstick is concerned, the important thing is not color, but to accept God's final word on where your lips end." Jerry Seinfeld
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American Comedian    Funny    Quote of the Day   

Jerry Seinfeld

"Well, birthdays are merely symbolic of how another year has gone by and how little we've grown. No matter how desperate we are that someday a better self will emerge, with each flicker of the candles on the cake, we know it's not
to be, that for the rest of our sad, wretched pathetic lives, this is who we areto the bitter end. Inevitably, irrevocably; happy birthday? No such thing."
Jerry Seinfeld
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Birthday   

Jerry Seinfeld

"Well, birthdays are merely symbolic of how another year has gone by and how little we've grown. No matter how desperate we are that someday a better self will emerge, with each flicker of the candles on the cake, we know it's notto be, that for the rest of our sad, wretched pathetic lives, this is who we areto the bitter end. Inevitably, irrevocably; happy birthday? No such thing." Jerry Seinfeld
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Birthday   

Jerry Seinfeld

"A two-year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it." Jerry Seinfeld
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Babies    Funny    Quote of the Day   

Jerry Seinfeld

"It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper." Jerry Seinfeld
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American Comedian    Funny   

Jerry Seinfeld

"Most people, you do a TV series, it ends three, four, five years later; it's a relic," Jerry Seinfeld
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Jerry Seinfeld

"The Four Levels of Comedy: Make your friends laugh, Make strangers laugh, Get paid to make strangers laugh, and Make people talk like you because it's so much fun." Jerry Seinfeld
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American Comedian    Comedy    Funny   

Jerry Seinfeld

"A bookstore is one of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking." Jerry Seinfeld
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American Comedian    Funny    People   

Jerry Seinfeld

"We were somewhat unsupervised. The audience was there and the network is not going to complain if everyone's liking the show." Jerry Seinfeld
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Audience   

Jerry Seinfeld

"I am so busy doing nothing... that the idea of doing anything - which as you know, always leads to something - cuts into the nothing and then forces me to have to drop everything." Jerry Seinfeld
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American Comedian    Comedy    Funny   

Jerry Seinfeld

"I think it's funny to be delicate with subjects that are explosive." Jerry Seinfeld
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American Comedian    Funny   

Jerry Seinfeld

"There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think, I know what I'm doing. Just show me somebody naked." Jerry Seinfeld
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Funny   

Jerry Seinfeld

"The article said that since the Upper West Side lost Charivari (an expensive clothing retailer) and the China Club (a nightspot), it's equivalent to 'a mall in Iowa,'" Jerry Seinfeld
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Jerry Seinfeld

"You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, "See if you can blow this out."" Jerry Seinfeld
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American Comedian    Funny   

Jerry Seinfeld

"Make no mistake about why these babies are here - they are here to replace us." Jerry Seinfeld
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American Comedian    Babies    Funny   

Jerry Seinfeld

"People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to" Jerry Seinfeld
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Lies And Lying   

Jerry Seinfeld

"I'm really enjoying this, ... Could this be a weekly series?" Jerry Seinfeld
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Jerry Seinfeld

"My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty and that's the law." Jerry Seinfeld
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American Comedian    Comedy    Funny   

Jerry Seinfeld

"Men don't care what's on TV. They only care what else is on TV." Jerry Seinfeld
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American Comedian    Funny    Men   





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