Jeff Foxworthy Quotes

Found 66 quotes by Jeff Foxworthy .
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"Have you ever seen people so ugly that you have to get someone else to verify it?" Jeff Foxworthy
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American Comedian    Funny   

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"I had to perform at the White House for the president, That's always kind of a weird set to try to put together." Jeff Foxworthy
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American Comedian    Funny   

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"My father-in-law gets up at 5 o'clock in the morning and watches the Discovery Channel. I don't know why there's this big rush to do this." Jeff Foxworthy
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American Comedian    Funny   

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"The more excited the rooster gets, the higher his voice goes. He's got a little bit of a Barney Fife quality to him." Jeff Foxworthy
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American Comedian    Funny   

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"You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand." Jeff Foxworthy
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American Comedian    Funny   

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"Changing a diaper is a lot like getting a present from your grandmother - you're not sure what you've got but you're pretty sure you're not going to like it." Jeff Foxworthy
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American Comedian    Funny   

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"I really don't require a whole lot in life." Jeff Foxworthy
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American Comedian    Funny   

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"I say, If everybody in this house lives where it's God first, friends and family second and you third, we won't ever have an argument." Jeff Foxworthy
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American Comedian    Funny   

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"I turned down a movie this summer because it was nine weeks in Vancouver and my oldest daughter is 14. I've got four more summers with her. I'm not giving away nine weeks of her summer to go do a silly movie." Jeff Foxworthy
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American Comedian    Funny   

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"Nothing in life prepares you to be famous." Jeff Foxworthy
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American Comedian    Funny   

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"Now, it's true I married my wife for her looks... but not the ones she's been givin' me lately." Jeff Foxworthy
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American Comedian    Funny   

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"Pride is the first step in people unraveling and companies unraveling and relationships unraveling." Jeff Foxworthy
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American Comedian    Funny   

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"That's the great thing about a tractor. You can't really hear the phone ring." Jeff Foxworthy
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American Comedian    Funny   

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"The stuff that made me mad 20 years ago doesn't really make me mad any more." Jeff Foxworthy
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American Comedian    Funny   

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"There's no down time any more." Jeff Foxworthy
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American Comedian    Funny   

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"You may be a redneck if... you have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education." Jeff Foxworthy
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American Comedian    Funny   

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"You moon the wrong person at an office party and suddenly you're not 'professional' any more." Jeff Foxworthy
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American Comedian    Funny   

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"We don't do that here. We only take urine samples." Jeff Foxworthy
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"You may be a redneck if . . . your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand." Jeff Foxworthy
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"You may be a redneck if . . . your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand." Jeff Foxworthy
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"I know God is real." Jeff Foxworthy
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American Comedian    Funny   



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