Jackie Mason Quotes

Found 13 quotes by Jackie Mason .
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"I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something." — Jackie Mason
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American Comedian    Funny    Life   

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"By these things examine thyself. By whose rules am I acting; in whose name; in whose strength; in whose glory? What faith, humility, self-denial, and love of God and to man have there been in all my actions?" — Jackie Mason
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Acting And Actors    Self-improvement   

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"[After taking a critical hit in his first non-solo musical venture on Broadway with the short-lived Laughing Room Only, Mason noted the return to his roots.] I am excited about getting back to what I do best and what my audience likes best, ... I am writing new jokes every day and soon Ill be telling them every night. Just me... one Jew talking and that's it." — Jackie Mason
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Broadway   

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"It's no longer a question of staying healthy. It's a question of finding a sickness you like." — Jackie Mason
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American Comedian    Funny   

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"Did you ever hear of a kid playing accountant -- even if they wanted to be one?" — Jackie Mason
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"It is more profitable for your congressman to support the tobacco industry than your life." — Jackie Mason
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American Comedian    Funny    Life   

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"We were going to do it before the hurricane, but decided to wait," — Jackie Mason
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"Frankly, I'm in shock. I just can't believe it...even though I had every reason to expect it." — Jackie Mason
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Reason   

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"If an Englishman gets run down by a truck he apologizes to the truck." — Jackie Mason
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American Comedian    Funny   

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"Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake." — Jackie Mason
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Victory   

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"Did you ever hear of a kid playing accountant - even if they wanted to be one?" — Jackie Mason
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American Comedian    Funny   

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"The nervousness never lasted more than a second because he was so congenial and comfortable. He made more stars on his show, probably, than anybody in the whole history of show business." — Jackie Mason
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"Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe." — Jackie Mason
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America    American Comedian    Funny   

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