Homer Simpson Quotes

Found 85 quotes by Homer Simpson .
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"Unlike most of you, I am not a nut." — Homer Simpson
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"It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to squeeze in 8 hours of TV a day." — Homer Simpson
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"Olive oil ... asparagus ... if your mother wasn't so fancy, we could shop at the gas station like normal people." — Homer Simpson
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Mother   

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"I'm not telling you, 'Never eat a hamburger.' Just eat the good ones with real beef, you know, like the ones from that mom-and-pop diner down the street, ... And it's so good that when you take a bite out of that burger, you just know somewhere in the world a vegan is crying." — Homer Simpson
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"I am not crazy. It's the TV that's crazy. Aren't you, TV?" — Homer Simpson
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"If he's so smart, how come he's dead?" — Homer Simpson
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"mmmmmmm. donuts/beer/erotic cakes." — Homer Simpson
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"Here's to alcohol: the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems." — Homer Simpson
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Alcohol And Alcoholism   

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"Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand." — Homer Simpson
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Understanding   

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"If you're going to get mad at me everytime I do something stupid then I guess I'll have to stop doing stupid things!" — Homer Simpson
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""Let's just say that on this day, a million years ago, a dude was born who most of us think was magic. But others don't, and that's cool. But we're probably right. Amen." - Homer Simpson" — Homer Simpson
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"Marge: Homer! There's someone here who can help you... Homer: Is it Batman? Marge: No, he's a scientist. Homer: Batman's a scientist?! Marge: It's not Batman!" — Homer Simpson
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Batman    Homer    Scientists   

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"Flanders: I think we hit something. Homer: I hope it's Flanders" — Homer Simpson
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Simpson   

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"Oh, people can come up with statistics to prove anything. 14% of people know that." — Homer Simpson
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People   

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"[at prof. Frink's yard sale]Three dollars and it only transports matter?!" — Homer Simpson
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"Owww look at me Marge, I'm making people Happy! I'm the magical man, from Happy Land, who lives in a gumdrop house on Lolly Pop Lane!!!!...... By the way I was being sarcastic..." — Homer Simpson
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Land   

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"Alright Brain, you don't like me, and I don't like you. But lets just do this, and I can get back to killing you with beer." — Homer Simpson
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Simpson   

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"Marge! Look at all this great stuff I found at the Marina. It was just sitting in some guy's boat!" — Homer Simpson
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Simpson   

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"Marge, it's 3 AM. Shouldn't you be baking?" — Homer Simpson
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"If at first you don't succeed, give up." — Homer Simpson
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"To Start Press Any Key'. Where's the ANY key?" — Homer Simpson
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