Henry Youngman Quotes

Information about Henry Youngman ,

Henry Youngman ,
Henry Youngman ,

The undisputed King of One Liners, Henny Youngman entertained audiences for more than seven decades. Born in London, Youngman moved to the U.S. as a small child. He got into comedy when the regular comedian didn’t show up. Another comedian, Milton Berle caught his show. He liked what he saw and they became lifelong friends. Eventually, he made it to radio, appearing on the Kate Smith Sho…

Date of Birth: March 16, 1906
Date of Death: February 24, 1998
Found 84 quotes by Henry Youngman .
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Henry Youngman

"I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays." — Henry Youngman
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American Comedian    Funny    Holidays   

Henry Youngman

"My son complains about headaches. I tell him all the time, when you get out of bed, it's feet first!" — Henry Youngman
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American Comedian    Bed    Funny   

Henry Youngman

"My dad was the town drunk. Most of the time that's not so bad; but New York City?" — Henry Youngman
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American Comedian    Funny   

Henry Youngman

"The room is so small, when I put the key in, I broke the window!" — Henry Youngman
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Henry Youngman

"While playing golf today I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake." — Henry Youngman
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American Comedian    Funny    Golf   

Henry Youngman

"Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house, that's what it means." — Henry Youngman
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Affection    American Comedian    Funny   

Henry Youngman

"Getting on a plane, I told the ticket lady, "Send one of my bags to New York, send one to Los Angeles, and send one to Miami." She said, "We can't do that!" I told her, "You did it last week!"" — Henry Youngman
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Henry Youngman

"The patient says "Doctor, it hurts when I do this." "Then don't do that!"" — Henry Youngman
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Henry Youngman

"She's a big-hearted girl with hips to match." — Henry Youngman
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American Comedian    Funny   

Henry Youngman

"I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me." — Henry Youngman
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American Comedian    Funny    Love   

Henry Youngman

"Doctor, my leg hurts. What can I do?" The doctor says "Limp!" — Henry Youngman
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Henry Youngman

"I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places." — Henry Youngman
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American Comedian    Funny   

Henry Youngman

"I know a man who doesn't pay to have his trash taken out. How does he get rid of his trash? He gift wraps it, and puts in into an unlocked car." — Henry Youngman
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American Comedian    Funny    Man   

Henry Youngman

"My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way." — Henry Youngman
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American Comedian    Funny   

Henry Youngman

"The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret." — Henry Youngman
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American Comedian    Funny   

Henry Youngman

"My brother was a lifeguard in a car wash." — Henry Youngman
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American Comedian    Brother    Funny   

Henry Youngman

"If you had your life to live over again, do it overseas." — Henry Youngman
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American Comedian    Funny    Life   

Henry Youngman

"I've got all the money I'll ever need, if I die by four o clock." — Henry Youngman
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American Comedian    Funny    Money   

Henry Youngman

"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays." — Henry Youngman
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American Comedian    Funny    Marriage   

Henry Youngman

"Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport" — Henry Youngman
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Law   

Henry Youngman

"Take my wife... Please!" — Henry Youngman
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American Comedian    Funny   

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