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Erma Bombeck Quotes

Found 134 quotes by Erma Bombeck .
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Erma Bombeck

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"When a child is locked in the bathroom with water running and he says he's doing nothing but the dog is barking, call 911." — Erma Bombeck
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American Journalist

Erma Bombeck

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"I never leaf through a copy of National Geographic without realizing how lucky we are to live in a society where it is traditional to wear clothes." — Erma Bombeck
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American Journalist Clothes

Erma Bombeck

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"Once you get a spice in your home, you have it forever. Women never throw out spices. The Egyptians were buried with their spices. I know which one I'm taking with me when I go." — Erma Bombeck
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American Journalist Attachment

Erma Bombeck

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"My mind works . . . two boobs never get me a job." — Erma Bombeck
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Ability

Erma Bombeck

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"A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat." — Erma Bombeck
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American Journalist Diets And Dieting

Erma Bombeck

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"My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint." — Erma Bombeck
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American Journalist Bed

Erma Bombeck

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"A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday." — Erma Bombeck
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American Journalist Birthday Funny Husband

Erma Bombeck

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"A child develops individuality long before he discovers taste" — Erma Bombeck
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Advice

Erma Bombeck

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"I have a theory about the human mind. A brain is a lot like a computer. It will only take so many facts, and then it will go on overload and blow up." — Erma Bombeck
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American Journalist Brain

Erma Bombeck

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"It is fast approaching the point where I don't want to elect anyone stupid enough to want the job." — Erma Bombeck
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Stupidity

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Erma Bombeck

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"Youngsters of the age of two and three are endowed with extraordinary strength. They can lift a dog twice their own weight and dump him into the bathtub." — Erma Bombeck
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Age And Aging American Journalist

Erma Bombeck

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"Dreams have but one owner at a time. That is why dreamers are lonely." — Erma Bombeck
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American Journalist

Erma Bombeck

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"Everyone is guilty at one time or another of throwing out questions that beg to be ignored, but mothers seem to have a market on the supply. ""Do you want a spanking or do you want to go to bed?"" ""Don't you want to save some of the pizza for your brother?"" ""Wasn't there any change?""" — Erma Bombeck
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Erma Bombeck

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"It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else." — Erma Bombeck
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American Journalist Courage inspirational

Erma Bombeck

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"I have a hat. It is graceful and feminine and give me a certain dignity, as if I were attending a state funeral or something. Someday I may get up enough courage to wear it, instead of carrying it." — Erma Bombeck
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American Journalist

Erma Bombeck

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"Who in their infinite wisdom decreed that Little League uniforms be white? Certainly not a mother." — Erma Bombeck
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American Journalist

Erma Bombeck

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"The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again." — Erma Bombeck
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American Journalist

Erma Bombeck

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"I've decided life is too fragile to finish a book I dislike just because it cost $16.95 and everyone else loved it. Or eat a fried egg with a broken yolk (which I hate) when the dog would leap over the St. Louis Arch for it." — Erma Bombeck
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Erma Bombeck

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2

"All of us have moments in out lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet is one of them." — Erma Bombeck
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American Journalist Courage Funny

Erma Bombeck

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"It seemed rather incongruous that in a society of supersophisticated communication, we often suffer from a shortage of listeners." — Erma Bombeck
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Quote of the Day

Erma Bombeck

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"Getting out of the hospital is a lot like resigning from a book club. You're not out of it until the computer says you're out of it." — Erma Bombeck
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American Journalist Books And Reading

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