Ellen DeGeneres Quotes


Information about Ellen DeGeneres

Ellen DeGeneres
Ellen DeGeneres

Comedian, talk show host, American Idol judge and actress, Ellen Degeneres has established herself as one of the most successful female performers in show business. The winner of Showtime's Funniest Person in America in 1982, Degeneres was invited to guest on the Tonight Show four years later. Her career exploded as a result, including getting her own sitcom, Ellen. She made her movie debu…

Date of Birth: January 26, 1958


Found 105 quotes by Ellen DeGeneres .
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Ellen DeGeneres

"My dog of 17 years just died. Oh you're kidding?...Noooo...as funny as that is, I'm not" Ellen DeGeneres
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Ellen DeGeneres

""I don't understand the sizes anymore. There's a size zero, which I didn't even know that they had. It must stand for: "Ohhh my God, you're thin."" Ellen DeGeneres
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Ellen DeGeneres

"My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is." Ellen DeGeneres
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American Comedian    Funny   

Ellen DeGeneres

"Hello?..Oh, hi Tom. Ooh, I've been dying to see that movie...Mmm no, I just opened up some yogurt. I am in for the night....Not even later, it's the kind with the fruit on the bottom. Thanks anyway. Have fun." "Oh...Sorry I'm late...Traffic. Hm. Really? How you think I got here? Hellacoptered in?" Ellen DeGeneres
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Dying   

Ellen DeGeneres

""I see those picketers, and I think you know, if I weren't a loving, non-violent, spiritual person, I would really go over there and grab those signs and smash them over their heads and shove them up their asses. But...I'm a loving, spiritual person."" Ellen DeGeneres
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Ellen DeGeneres

"Yeah [I'm thirty-six], but on the show I'm thirty-two. Nobody wants to watch a thirty-six year old woman, so they decided to make me thirty-two. Much more appealing somehow." Ellen DeGeneres
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Ellen DeGeneres

"And be sure to look for me next month when I host the North Korean Peoples Choice Awards." Ellen DeGeneres
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Awards   

Ellen DeGeneres

"My aunt has lost everything, she has nothing. She grabbed four pictures out of her house. She's lost her entire life." Ellen DeGeneres
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Ellen DeGeneres

""I'm feeling so good. I feel like a million bucks. I'm focused, I'm alert, I'm zippy and top of my game.. I've never felt better! I'm sharp as a tack right now. And what's weird is that I didn't get a good nights sleep last night. And they say that's the most important thing..Or is it breakfast they said?..That's the most important meal of the day, breakfast...yes. And then it's 'i' before 'e' I know that..Um.. diamonds are a girl's best friend. Dog is a man's best friend.. What was I talking about?..Oh that's right, that I feel great and I'm at the top of my game. And it's odd because I didn't get hardly any sleep last night. And, they say that's the most important thing."" Ellen DeGeneres
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Ellen DeGeneres

"Just go up to somebody on the street and say "You're it!" and just run away." Ellen DeGeneres
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American Comedian    Funny   

Ellen DeGeneres

"I think people talk too much anyway. Sometimes people are talking to me and in my mind I'm just like "shut up, shut up, shut up...blah blah blah blah blaaaaah." Ellen DeGeneres
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Mind   

Ellen DeGeneres

"So, I bought a new cd and I was trying to get it open but couldn't with all the layers..I mean plastic and then tape and the tape is like government tape. It says open here..is that sarcasm?, and buy batteries and they are in there with layers and layers of cardboard and then scissors....you need scissors to get into scissors, what if you were buying them for the first time? you wouldnt be able to get them open. Then you try and buy a light bulb and it's this thin thin cardboard .....what are they thinking? "Ohh they'll be fine" Ellen DeGeneres
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Trying   

Ellen DeGeneres

"New Orleans is my hometown, and our thoughts and prayers go out to everyone affected." Ellen DeGeneres
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Ellen DeGeneres

""I swear if Colgate comes out with one more type of toothepaste. I just want clean teeth that's all I want. I don't want the tartar and I don't want the cavaties. And I want white teeth. How come I have to choose? And then they have the 'Colgate Total' that supposedly has everything in there. I don't believe that for one second. If it's all in the one, how come they make all the others? Who's going: "I don't mind the tartar so much."?"" Ellen DeGeneres
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Ellen DeGeneres

"I ask people why they have deer heads on their walls. They always say because it's such a beautiful animal. There you go. I think my mother is attractive, but I have photographs of her." Ellen DeGeneres
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American Comedian    Animals    Funny   

Ellen DeGeneres

"There are a million people who are refugees, ... Life goes on, and if it didn't impact you directly, you may not realize how devastating this is." Ellen DeGeneres
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Ellen DeGeneres

"For me, it's that I contributed, ... That I'm on this planet doing some good and making people happy. That's to me the most important thing, that my hour of television is positive and upbeat and an antidote for all the negative stuff going on in life." Ellen DeGeneres
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People   

Ellen DeGeneres

"The first person I learned I could make happy with laughter was my mother, whom I idolize. It was a powerful thing to realize. I knew I had found my life's work." Ellen DeGeneres
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Mother   

Ellen DeGeneres

""I see those picketers, and I think you know, if I weren't a loving, non-violent, spiritual person, I would really go over there and grab those signs and smash them over their heads and shove them up their asses. But...I'm a loving, spiritual person." " Ellen DeGeneres
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Ellen DeGeneres

""I'm feeling so good. I feel like a million bucks. I'm focused, I'm alert, I'm zippy and top of my game.. I've never felt better! I'm sharp as a tack right now. And what's weird is that I didn't get a good nights sleep last night. And they say that's the most important thing..Or is it breakfast they said?..That's the most important meal of the day, breakfast...yes. And then it's 'i' before 'e' I know that..Um.. diamonds are a girl's best friend. Dog is a man's best friend.. What was I talking about?..Oh that's right, that I feel great and I'm at the top of my game. And it's odd because I didn't get hardly any sleep last night. And, they say that's the most important thing." " Ellen DeGeneres
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Ellen DeGeneres

"Yeah I'm thirty-six, but on the show I'm thirty-two. Nobody wants to watch a thirty-six year old woman, so they decided to make me thirty-two. Much more appealing somehow." Ellen DeGeneres
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American Comedian    Funny   





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