Bill Watterson Quotes

Found 123 quotes by Bill Watterson .
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"The more you think about things, the weirder they seem. Take this milk. Why do we drink *cow* milk?? Who was the guy who first looked at a cow and said, I think I'll drink whatever comes out of these things when I squeeze 'em!? - Calvin and Hobbes" Bill Watterson
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Funny    Quote of the Day   

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"I'm not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information." Bill Watterson
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American Cartoonist   

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"It took hundreds of years for these woods to grow, and they leveled it in a week. It's gone. After they build new houses here, they'll have to widen the roads and put up gas stations, and pretty soon the whole area will just be a big strip. Eventually there won't be a nice spot left anywhere. I wonder if you can refuse to inherit the world." Bill Watterson
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"The purpose of writing is to inflate weak ideas, obscure pure reasoning, and inhibit clarity. With a little practice, writing can be an intimidating and impenetrable fog!" Bill Watterson
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American Cartoonist    Clarity   

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"I won't eat any cereal that doesn't turn the milk purple." Bill Watterson
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American Cartoonist   

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"Enemy fighters at two o'clock!Roger. What should I do until then?" Bill Watterson
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"Things are never quite as scary when you've got a best friend." Bill Watterson
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American Cartoonist    Best Friends   

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"Weekends don't count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless." Bill Watterson
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American Cartoonist   

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"They can't chain my spirit! My spirit runs free! Walls can't contain it! Laws can't restrain it! Authority has no power over it!" Bill Watterson
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Authority   

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"A little rudeness and disrespect can elevate a meaningless interaction to a battle of wills and add drama to an otherwise dull day." Bill Watterson
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"I just read this great science fiction story. It's about how machines take control of humans and turn them into zombie slaves! . . . HEY! What time is it?? My TV show is on!" Bill Watterson
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Control   

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"Who was the guy who first looked at a cow and said, "I think I'll drink whatever comes out of these things when I squeeze 'em!"?" Bill Watterson
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"I liked things better when I didn't understand them." Bill Watterson
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American Cartoonist   

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"I like these cold, gray winter days. Days like these let you savor a bad mood." Bill Watterson
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"If you do the job badly enough, sometimes you don't get asked to do it again." Bill Watterson
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"If people sat outside and looked at the stars each night, I'll bet they'd live a lot differently." Bill Watterson
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American Cartoonist   

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"To make a business decision, you don't need much philosophy; all you need is greed, and maybe a little knowledge of how the game works." Bill Watterson
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Business   

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"We don't devote enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks." Bill Watterson
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American Cartoonist   

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"Sometimes when I'm talking, my words can't keep up with my thoughts. I wonder why we think faster than we speak. Probably so we can think twice." Bill Watterson
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American Cartoonist    Funny   

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"From now on, I'll connect the dots my own way." Bill Watterson
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American Cartoonist   

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"The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us." Bill Watterson
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American Cartoonist    Life   





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