"Matthew: Y'know, I wonder why God equipped women with all the weapons for seduction.
Rod: What do you mean?
Matthew: Well, take the breast for example. You have the bosom, the areola, the nipple. I mean, those are three concentric circles. In other words, it's a bullseye! It's no wonder the breast is the target for all men.
Rod: Wow. That's profound.
Matthew: And men are grotesque. I'm not just talking about the little habits we have...
[Rod starts cleaning his ears with his car keys]
Matthew: ...like cleaning our ears with our car keys. I mean, we're grotesque to the core. I mean, look at the penis. The penis... it just looks like God had some left-over skin when he was making elbow, and He decided to slap it in our groin...
Rod: Hey, get that outta here! It freaks me out, ok?
Matthew: I mean, the penis is the first to shrivel when it's cold, it's the first to shrink in fear. The penis is a coward. It's a cowardly flap of left-over elbow flesh.
Rod: Maybe you wouldn't think that way if you had a little of my Penile Power, baby!
[laughs] "
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Buddha was born into a luxurious life as an Indian prince. His name means "the Awakened One," and he eventually became the originator of Buddhism. At age 29 he began his search for the cure of humanity's sorrow through peace and harmony with everything and everyone. His concept of karma, that what we put into the universe comes back to us, is a fundamental teaching of Buddhism that is still well-known today. He is said to have attained enlightenment during long meditation under a Bodhi tree, at which point he became Buddha until the age of 80, when he died in Kushinagar. Buddha Quotes
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