"Mr. Thorn: [Junior enters his new classroom and the students begin laughing at him, while his new teacher Mr. Thorn walks over and rolls his eyes tiresomely] Oh, no. Not another one. How many kids are they going to make me teach?
[Junior hands Mr. Thorn his envelope]
Mr. Thorn: Well, get in here and find a seat. Go ahead. Come on, come on, come on! Hustle, small fry. I'm not gonna have you holding up my class all year. now, let's move it!
[Junior sits down at his desk]
Mr. Thorn: Now, let's start with a nice easy review to see how much you underachievers remember from last year. Polly, what's 17 times 8?
Polly: 136.
[Bows rather smart and sits back down]
Mr. Thorn: Good. Richard, what's 72 divided by -9?
Richard: -8, sir.
[sits back down]
Mr. Thorn: Fine. Murph!
[cut to Murph picking his nose]
Mr. Thorn: Murph! What's 3 plus 2?
Murph: Mmmmm... 4.
[Everyone laughs]
Mr. Thorn: [sighs] Murph, you've been in the 6th grade since I started teaching here, I really want to get you out this year. Now, please, please work with me. What's 3 plus 2?
Murph: 9?
[Everyone laughs again as Mr. thorn closes his eyes in despair]
Mr. Thorn: I can see this is going to be a long year.
Junior: [angrily] 5, all right? The answer is 5!
Mr. Thorn: You!
[walks over to Junior's desk]
Mr. Thorn: What're you saying?
Junior: Uh, I said 5.
Mr. Thorn: Dandy, I'm glad someone's paying attention here."
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Releasing 23 comedy albums, hosting 14 HBO specials and authoring three best sellers during his lifetime, comedian George Carlin helped define modern stand-up routines with his rapid fire commentary on politics, race, hypocrisy and society. His command of the English language allowed him to dissect its nuances and oddities, questioning everything from the meaning of time to getting into an airplane instead of getting on a planeÂ. His Seven Dirty Words You Can Never Say on Television led to his arrest and his landmark case before the Supreme Court. Carlin always pushed the limits, from…
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