Author Unknown Quote

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"Montana Smith: Why didn't you stampede along with your herd, young fella?
Bob Wallace: Because this is my water hole.
Montana Smith: Well, now, I heard different.
Bob Wallace: Sam Ellis agreed it was when he sold me the ranch.
Montana Smith: Maybe so. I ain't no lawyer...
Bob Wallace: Nooo. No, just a gunman.
Montana Smith: Well, that's what they pay me for, yes.
Bob Wallace: Killin' people?
Montana Smith: I never killed anyone who didn't try to get me first.
Bob Wallace: Am I to take that as a warning?
Montana Smith: Well now, it would be sound sense if you to take it as such."
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Jack Handey
Birth: 1949-02-05

"Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes."

Jack Handey is best known for his extensive collection of surrealistic one liners known as "Deep Thoughts" and his "My Big Thick Novel" shorts. Born in Texas, Handey started his career as a reporter, but was fired for offending local car dealerships. He landed his first comedy gig as a writer for Saturday Night Live. He eventually became co-producer of the show. His "Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey" started in 1991 when he began to reading them on the air. It quickly gained an audience that liked its bizarre situations and unexpected twists, such as "If trees could scream, would we be so …



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