Funny

(283 votes)   Ah Mozart! He was happily married - but his wife wasn't.

Victor Borge

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(277 votes)   Love is like a Rhino, short-sighted, but always willing to find a way.

Anonymous

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(269 votes)   Sometimes you eat the bar, and sometimes, well, he eats you.

The Big Lebowski Coen Brothers
The Stranger

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(269 votes)   Your like a child that walks in halfway through a movie and wants to know what the fuck is going on!

The Big Lebowski Coen Brothers
Walter Sobchak

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(268 votes)   John Lennon said All you need is love, John obviously never met my bank manager.

Danny McCrossan
Northern Irish Comedian

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(262 votes)   Love is not something that you can put chains on and throw into a lake. That's called Houdini. Love is liking someone a lot. - Deep Thoughts (Saturday Night Live)

Jack Handey

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(261 votes)   Men make love more intensely at 20, but make love better, however, at 30 - Men make love more intensely at 20, but make love better, however, at 30 - Catherine II of Russia

Catherine II

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(260 votes)   Do what you today so you can relax tomorrow.

Trevor Anoumouse
great

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(260 votes)   Love is like a game of chess: One false move and you're mated.

Anonymous

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(252 votes)   Conversation has a kind of charm about it, an insuating and insidious something that elicits secrets from us just like love or liquor.

Lucius Annaeus Seneca

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(252 votes)   Your like a child that walks in halfways through a movie and wants to know what the fuck is going on!

The Big Lebowski Coen Brothers
Walter Sobchak

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(250 votes)   It is in the thirties that we want friends. In the forties we know they won't save us any more than love did.

Euripedes

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(249 votes)   A husband is a guy who tells you when you've got on too much lipstick and helps you with your girdle when your hips stick.

Ogden Nash

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(247 votes)   Infatuation is when you think he's as sexy as Robert Redford, as smart as Henry Kissinger, as noble as Ralph Nader, as funny as Woody Allen, and as athletic as Jimmy Conners. Love is when you realize that he's as sexy as Woody Allen, as smart as Jimmy Connors, as funny as Ralph Nader, as athletic as Henry Kissinger and nothing like Robert Redford - but you'll take him anyway.

Judith Viorst

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(246 votes)   I love her and she loves me, and we hate each other with a wild hatred born of love.

August Strindberg

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