Funny

(362 votes)   SS: Jesus is Magic.

Sarah Silverman
1970-, Comedian, Actor, and Writer

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(361 votes)   A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother why the bride changed her mind. What do you mean? responded her mother. Well, she went down the aisle with one man, and came back with another.

Anonymous

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(360 votes)   I say 'I'm sorry.' It usually disarms them.

Sarah Silverman
1970-, Comedian, Actor, and Writer

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(360 votes)   This is crazy Donald. When I see the prices at the mall, I just want to vomit.

Sarah Silverman
1970-, Comedian, Actor, and Writer

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(359 votes)   The music business was not safe, but it was FUN. It was like falling in love with a woman you know is bad for you, but you love every minute with her, anyway.

Lionel Richie

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(348 votes)   None love the messenger who brings bad news.

Sophocles

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(332 votes)   A kiss: To a young girl, faith; to a married woman, hope; to an old maid, charity.

V. P. Skipper

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(326 votes)   Love at first sight is possible, but it pays to take a second look.

Anonymous

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(325 votes)   Love is the only kind of fire which is never covered by insurance.

Anonymous

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(320 votes)   Love and stoplights can be cruel.

Sesame Street

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(315 votes)   I require only three things of a man. He must be handsome, ruthless and stupid. -

Dorothy Parker

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(307 votes)   It is in the thirties that we want friends. In the forties we know they won't save us any more than love did.

F Scott Fitzgerald

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(298 votes)   A slight touch of friendly malice and amusement towards those we love keeps our affections for them from turning flat.

Logan Pearsall Smith

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(289 votes)   A Code of Honor: Never approach a friend's girlfriend or wife with mischief as your goal. There are just too many women in the world to justify that sort of dishonorable behavior. Unless she's really attractive.

Bruce Friedman

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(286 votes)   Love is like pi - natural, irrational, and very important.

Lisa Hoffman

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