Funny

(101 votes)   The trouble with bein early is that nobody's there 2 appreciate it but then again if ur late everyone's there 2 be unappreciative

Dana Swift

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(101 votes)   Women say all men are the same, but they have no problem telling you how different you are from Mel Gibson.

Anonymous

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(100 votes)   A poor surgeon hurts 1 person at a time. A poor teacher hurts 130.

Ernest Leroy Boyer

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(100 votes)   Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives.

Sue Murphy

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(100 votes)   Here's to the groom with bride so fair, And here's to the bride with groom so rare!

UNKNOWN

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(100 votes)   One should love animals. They are so tasty.

Anonymous

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(100 votes)   Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself.

Roseanne

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(100 votes)   your generation are all the same when you find something you don't understand you call it evil and throw chairs thought starbuck windows

ms.dean dean
runaways#1

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(99 votes)   I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it. - Deep Thoughts (Saturday Night Live)

Jack Handy

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(99 votes)   The loveliest of faces are to be seen by moonlight, when one sees half with the eye and half with the fancy.

Persian Proverb

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(98 votes)   After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, No hablo ingles.

Ronnie Shakes

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(98 votes)   Boys are like hillucinations, they aren't there, and they never really were.

Anonymous

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(97 votes)   (Groom), take (Bride)'s hand and place your hand over hers. Now, remember this moment and cherish it... because this will be the last time you'll ever have the upper hand!

UNKNOWN

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(97 votes)   He who dies with the most toys is, nonetheless, still dead

Anonymous

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(97 votes)   If you ever catch on fire, try to avoid seeing yourself in the mirror, because I bet that's what REALLY throws you into a panic.

Jack Handy

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