Mark Twain

(179 votes)   When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.

Mark Twain

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(178 votes)   Do not undervalue the headache. While it is at its sharpest it seems a bad investment; but when relief begins, the unexpired remainder is worth $4 a minute.

Mark Twain
1835-1910, American Humorist, Writer

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(171 votes)   Nothing that grieves us can be called little: by the eternal laws of proportion a child's loss of a doll and a king's loss of a crown are events of the same size.

Mark Twain
1835-1910, American Humorist, Writer

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(161 votes)   As a thinker and planner the ant is the equal of any savage race of men; as a self-educated specialist in several arts she is the superior of any savage race of men; and in one or two high mental qualities she is above the reach of any man, savage or civilized!

Mark Twain
1835-1910, American Humorist, Writer

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(140 votes)   A banker is a fellow who lends his umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back the minute it begins to rain.

Mark Twain
1835-1910, American Humorist, Writer

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(125 votes)   I was young and foolish then; now I am old and foolisher.

Mark Twain
1835-1910, American Humorist, Writer

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(108 votes)   If they had not landed there would be some reason for celebrating the fact.

Mark Twain
1835-1910, American Humorist, Writer

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(107 votes)   A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.

Mark Twain
American, Author Quotes

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(105 votes)   Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.

Mark Twain
American, Author Quotes

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(105 votes)   It is a good idea to obey all the rules when you're young just so you'll have the strength to break them when you're old.

Mark Twain
1835-1910, American Humorist, Writer

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(104 votes)   Obscurity and competence: That is the life that is worth living.

Mark Twain
1835-1910, American Humorist, Writer

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(103 votes)   All kings is mostly rapscallions.

Mark Twain

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(103 votes)   Everybody talks about the weather, but nobody does anything about it.

Mark Twain
1835-1910, American Humorist, Writer

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(103 votes)   It's no wonder that truth is stranger than fiction. Fiction has to make sense.

Mark Twain
American, Author Quotes

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(101 votes)   [On his deathbed:] Death, the only immortal who treats us all alike, whose pity and whose peace and whose refuse are for all -- the soiled and the pure, the rich and the poor, the loved and the unloved

Mark Twain

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