Mark Twain

(76 votes)   There are times when one would like to hang the whole human race, and finish the farce.

Mark Twain
American, Author Quotes

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(76 votes)   War talk by men who have been in a war is always interesting; whereas moon talk by a poet who has not been in the moon is likely to be dull.

Mark Twain
1835-1910, American Humorist, Writer

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(75 votes)   It was the schoolboy who said, ''Faith is believing what you know ain't so.''

Mark Twain
1835-1910, American Humorist, Writer

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(75 votes)   Scientists have odious manners, except when you prop up their theory; then you can borrow money of them.

Mark Twain
1835-1910, American Humorist, Writer

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(75 votes)   To be good is noble; but to show others how to be good is nobler and no trouble.

Mark Twain
American, Author Quotes

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(75 votes)   When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.

Mark Twain
American, Author Quotes

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(74 votes)   I do not like work even when someone else does it.

Mark Twain
1835-1910, American Humorist, Writer

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(74 votes)   Of all God's creatures there is only one that cannot be made the slave of the lash. That one is the cat. If man could be crossed with a cat it would improve man, but it would deteriorate the cat.

Mark Twain
1835-1910, American Humorist, Writer

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(74 votes)   Out of the unconscious lips of babes and sucklings are we satirized.

Mark Twain
1835-1910, American Humorist, Writer

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(73 votes)   I find that principles have no real force except when one is well fed.

Mark Twain
1835-1910, American Humorist, Writer

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(73 votes)   If you can't get a compliment any other way, pay yourself one.

Mark Twain
1835-1910, American Humorist, Writer

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(73 votes)   Principles aren't of much account anyway, except at election time. After that you hang them up to let them season.

Mark Twain
1835-1910, American Humorist, Writer

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(72 votes)   Pessimism is only the name that men of weak nerve give to wisdom.

Mark Twain
1835-1910, American Humorist, Writer

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(71 votes)   Beautiful credit! The foundation of modern society. Who shall say that this is not the golden age of mutual trust, of unlimited reliance upon human promises? That is a peculiar condition of society which enables a whole nation to instantly recognize point and meaning in the familiar newspaper anecdote, which puts into the mouth of a distinguished speculator in lands and mines this remark: -- ''I wasn't worth a cent two years ago, and now I owe two millions of dollars.''

Mark Twain
1835-1910, American Humorist, Writer

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(71 votes)   Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.

Mark Twain
American, Author Quotes

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