A Cemetery Special (TV)

(20 votes)   [Fin finds a knife]
Fin Tutuola: Do you think this is sharp enough to cut a lop of hair?
John Munch: Well if it is, you win the chocolate bunny.


Law & Order: Special Victims Unit 1999

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(19 votes)   Capt. Donald Cragen: Romeo just signed up for tonight's event.
Olivia Benson: He's looking for a new Juliet.


Law & Order: Special Victims Unit 1999

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(17 votes)   John Munch: Sit down...
Guy: That's disgusting.
John Munch: It's a chair.


Law & Order: Special Victims Unit 1999

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(16 votes)   Fin Tutuola: You have the right to an attorney and if you throw up in my car, I'll kill ya.


Law & Order: Special Victims Unit 1999

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(14 votes)   Carl: [describing a Link] Like the Terminator, only not such a wuss.


Special Unit 2 2001

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(10 votes)   Fin Tutuola: Hey good girls fall for bad boys


Law & Order: Special Victims Unit 1999

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(10 votes)   George Huang: Do you gamble, Elliot?
Elliot Stabler: Only with birth control.


Law & Order: Special Victims Unit 1999

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(9 votes)   Dean Reynolds: Hey, you're hurting me!
Elliot Stabler: Take some Aptril. That'll make you feel better.


Law & Order: Special Victims Unit 1999

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(9 votes)   Dr. Heints: I was re-parenting him.
Elliot Stabler: Lady I've got four kids, if I ever talked to one of them like that... I'd arrest myself.


Law & Order: Special Victims Unit 1999

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(9 votes)   Fin Tutuola: [Munch starts one of his theories... ] Don't get him started on one of his conspiracy theories!


Law & Order: Special Victims Unit 1999

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(9 votes)   [a murderer is stalking Olivia]
Elliot Stabler: I didn't tell you about the detail because I knew you'd refuse.
Olivia Benson: Only the rat-squad puts cops on other cops, Elliot, without telling them. I deserve better than that. Especially from you.
Elliot Stabler: [pauses] You've been under a lot of stress lately...
Olivia Benson: I've always backed your play.
Elliot Stabler: And I did what I had to do. The guy's murdered four people, what's to stop him from coming after you, Olivia?
Olivia Benson: If you can't trust your partner, Elliot, it's time to get a new one.


Law & Order: Special Victims Unit 1999

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(9 votes)   [Cragen has asked Cassidy to go talk to a victim he used to know, who is now 16. Brian comes in looking shaken]
Capt. Donald Cragen: You know, when she called I knew it wasn't good. I knew, uh, she had to talk to somebody cool, you know, somebody she could relate to.
[hands Brian a drink]
Brian Cassidy: [drinks, pauses] There was this guy in the hood that she liked, this guy named Vince. She went down to Coney Island to, uh, to see him. You know that whole 'under the boardwalk, down by the sea' thing? After Vince... did her... his whole set wolf-packed her. Seven, eight guys... she's not sure. Which is bad enough, Captain, but it just gets worse. They left her there, uh, by herself, in the cold, wrapped up in a beach towel. It was after dark, you know, and she couldn't walk. She just sat there in what was left of her... clothes, and this guy comes along and asks her if she needs some help, and she says, 'yes, please... thank you.' And this guy... this, uh... this Good Samaritan, he, uh... he...
[he's crying]
Capt. Donald Cragen: OK. Um, I think Benson and Stabler can take it from here.
Brian Cassidy: [trying to be firm, wipes his eyes] No, I can handle this.
Capt. Donald Cragen: I know you can, Brian. I know you can.
[pause]
Capt. Donald Cragen: Or you could transfer out.
Brian Cassidy: [whispers] Where?
Capt. Donald Cragen: There's an opening in Narcotics. Captain's a friend of mine. You could do a lot of good over there. It wouldn't...
Brian Cassidy: Wouldn't what?
Capt. Donald Cragen: Well, it wouldn't be like this, Brian.
[scene changes; Brian's getting his things out of his locker]
Det. Brian Cassidy: [enters] Cassidy, what's up?
Brian Cassidy: [mutters] Whatever.
Det. Brian Cassidy: You know, my generation pioneered that succinct abstraction, but 'whatever' means diddly to me.
Brian Cassidy: [sighs] OK, I'm outta here.
Det. Brian Cassidy: For good, you mean?
[Brian nods]
Det. Brian Cassidy: Well, maybe you should. You're a sweet guy, Bri, the stuff around here's too weird for you.
Brian Cassidy: Captain said I could go over to Narcotics, you know, play cowboy, beat up on some people.
[gives a small smile]
Det. Brian Cassidy: It's not a bad idea, seriously. I saw the way you were with that junkie - you got outta her what most guys can't.
Brian Cassidy: [nods, pauses] Ah, it's just like... sex crimes? Come on. I still get embarrassed buying rubbers at a drugstore.
Det. Brian Cassidy: Think about it - popping dealers, conspiracy, stakeouts...
Brian Cassidy: [nods] All right. Later.
Det. Brian Cassidy: Later.
[they hug]
Det. Brian Cassidy: OK, Brian.
Brian Cassidy: [hands Munch a football from his locker and smiles] Take it easy.
[he leaves]


Law & Order: Special Victims Unit 1999

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(8 votes)   Capt. Donald Cragen: You don't get to pick the vic.


Law & Order: Special Victims Unit 1999

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(8 votes)   Suspect: Screw you.
Olivia Benson: I can screw you harder.


Law & Order: Special Victims Unit 1999

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(7 votes)   Benson: How does Special Unit 2 know I'm not going to tell everybody the whole thing?
Nick O'Malley: The captain only picks people he feels he can trust. But transfers are not a problem for most people.
Benson: Why, do they all get killed?
Nick O'Malley: Well, one guy lived but he just sits in a room and talks to himself.


Special Unit 2 2001

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