Computers

(217 votes)   A computer is fast and accurate, but it also is completely literal. It doesn't know enough to correct your simplest mistakes; it takes everything you enter exactly as you entered it, and not as you meant it!

Peter Aitken

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(25 votes)   A computer is like an Old Testament god, with a lot of rules and no mercy.

Joseph Campbell

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(21 votes)   A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila.

Mitch Ratcliffe

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(17 votes)   A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history -- with the possible exceptions of hand guns and tequila.

Mitch Ratliffe

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(30 votes)   A computer won't clean up the errors in your manual of procedures.

Sheila M. Eby
American Business Executive

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(20 votes)   A distributed system is one in which the failure of a computer you didn't even know existed can render your own computer unusable.

Leslie Lamport

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(28 votes)   After growing wildly for years, the field of computing appears to be reaching its infancy.

John Pierce

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(33 votes)   All programmers are playwrights and all computers are lousy actors.

Unknown

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(23 votes)   An apprentice carpenter may want only a hammer and saw, but a master craftsman employs many precision tools. Computer programming likewise requires sophisticated tools to cope with the complexity of real applications, and only practice with these tools will build skill in their use.

Robert L. Kruse

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(43 votes)   An idiot with a computer is a faster, better idiot.

Rich Julius

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(47 votes)   And computers are getting smarter all the time: scientists tell us that soon they will be able to talk to us. (By they I mean computers: I doubt scientists will ever be able to talk to us.)

Dave Barry

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(51 votes)   And, of course, you have the commercials where savvy businesspeople Get Ahead by using their MacIntosh computers to create the ultimate American business product: a really sharp-looking report.

Dave Barry

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(27 votes)   Anti-glare screens to prevent eye strain??? In my day, you didn't need an anti-glare screen. With the power they consumed, when you turned your computer on, the whole building darkened!

Simon Travaglia

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(25 votes)   Any nitwit can understand computers. Many do.

Ted Nelson

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(20 votes)   Artificial Intelligence: the art of making computers that behave like the ones in movies.

Bill Bulko

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