Woody Allen

(18 votes)   I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox.

Woody Allen
American, Director Quotes

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(464 votes)   Sex is the most fun you can have without laughing.

Woody Allen
1935-, American Director, Screenwriter, Actor, Comedian

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(431 votes)   A relationship, I think, is like a shark, you know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies. And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.

Woody Allen
1935-, American Director, Screenwriter, Actor, Comedian

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(404 votes)   I don't know the question, but sex is definitely the answer

Woody Allen

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(346 votes)   And my parents finally realize that I'm kidnapped and they snap into action immediately: They rent out my room.

Woody Allen

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(333 votes)   What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream? Or what's worse, what if only that fat guy in the third row exists?

Woody Allen
1935-, American Director, Screenwriter, Actor, Comedian

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(312 votes)   A ''Bay Area Bisexual'' told me I didn't quite coincide with either of her desires.

Woody Allen
1935-, American Director, Screenwriter, Actor, Comedian

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(304 votes)   I am at two with nature.

Woody Allen
1935-, American Director, Screenwriter, Actor, Comedian

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(299 votes)   If you don't fail now and again, it's a sign you're playing it safe.

Woody Allen
1935-, American Director, Screenwriter, Actor, Comedian

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(292 votes)   Of all the wonders of nature, a tree in summer is perhaps the most remarkable; with the possible exception of a moose singing ''Embraceable You'' in spats.

Woody Allen
1935-, American Director, Screenwriter, Actor, Comedian

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(239 votes)   More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly.

Woody Allen

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(223 votes)   Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought -- particularly for people who can never

Woody Allen
1935-, American Director, Screenwriter, Actor, Comedian

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(198 votes)   I'd never join a club that would allow a person like me to become a member.

Woody Allen
1935-, American Director, Screenwriter, Actor, Comedian

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(157 votes)   I don't respond well to mellow, you know what I mean, I have a tendency to... if I get too mellow, I ripen and then rot.

Woody Allen
1935-, American Director, Screenwriter, Actor, Comedian

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(142 votes)   It shows exactly what you can do if you're a total psychotic.

Woody Allen
1935-, American Director, Screenwriter, Actor, Comedian

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